Lettre motivation/euro

Lettre motivation/euro
Message de dada03 posté le 13-06-2017 à 14:52:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je dois rédiger une lettre de motivation pour entrer en section anglais euro l'année prochaine en seconde. Mais j'ai peur qu'elle soit truffée de fautes.

Nîmes, 2017 June 13th
Object: Candidacy for European-English section

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am currently in 3° at (nom du collège) and I am writing to tell you my motivation to integrate your European-English section.
Convinced that Europe will strengthen its importance in the coming years, I want to improve my English.
I actually want to go abroad, first for travelling, at London specially, and then for my professional future. English is an essential language for a good professional career, and in my private live too. It would be an opportunity to work on an exchange too and I think it’s an interesting and effective way to improve my English. I really like the England and the United States culture, and want to know more about that.
I realize that entered in this section require more work and involvement but be part of it would be a real chance for me about my future. Today, I feel motivated, thorough, and able to face up it. I would do my best in class and at home.
Please find my 4° 3rd quarter report enclosed.
Yours faithfully

Voilà j'ai l'impression d'avoir inséré des expressions très maladroites, comme "strengthen its importance" ou "and able to face up it". J'ai aussi des doutes sur "the England and the United States culture".
Si vous pouviez me confirmer mes erreurs, ce serait très gentil de votre part ^^
Merci à tous !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-06-2017 20:05

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Réponse : Lettre motivation/euro de dada03, postée le 13-06-2017 à 14:55:23 (S | E)
petite erreur de ma part c'est "but being part of it would be..."
Désolé
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-06-2017 20:07

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Réponse : Lettre motivation/euro de dada03, postée le 13-06-2017 à 15:39:29 (S | E)
Personne ?

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Réponse : Lettre motivation/euro de mutamson98, postée le 13-06-2017 à 18:45:15 (S | E)
Salut dada03,
cette lettre est bien rédigée (l'idée est là) mais il y a quelques petites erreurs. Je vais les énumérer et j'espère que ça pourra t'aider:

-"3°..." tu dois être précis et éviter les abbreviations
-"I'm writing to you in order to show you my motivation..."
-"European importance will be strengthned..."
"London especially"
-"private life"
-"British and American cultures" me paraît plus approprié
-"I realize that entering..."
-"face it up"
Et puis à la fin pour la conclusion, tu pourrais dire quelque chose du genre "Esperant une bonne réponse" pour que le lecteur soit enclin à répondre à votre demande.
J'espère que ça t'aidera.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-06-2017 20:08

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Réponse : Lettre motivation/euro de mutamson98, postée le 13-06-2017 à 18:48:07 (S | E)
c'est "strengthened" désolé

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Réponse : Lettre motivation/euro de sherry48, postée le 13-06-2017 à 18:59:28 (S | E)
Hello. You can start with these suggestions.
I am currently in 3° at (nom du collège) and I am writing to tell you my motivation to integrate your European-English section.

Convinced that Europe will strengthen its importance (You could reword this.) in the coming years, I want to improve my English.
I actually want to go abroad, first for travelling, at London _specially, and then for my professional future. English is an essential language for a good professional career, and in my private live too. It would be an opportunity to work on an exchange too (choose another word to avoid repetition) and I think it’s an interesting and effective way to improve my English. I really like the England and the United States culture,(culture is a noun and needs adjectives or you can use 'of' if you don't want to use adjectives) and want to know more about that.
I realize that entered in this section require more work and involvement but being part of it would be a real chance (consider the other word) for me about my future. Today, I feel motivated, thorough, (I'm not sure exactly what you mean here; consider changing it.) and able to face up it (If you use this idiom, there is a word missing, but I think you could find an alternative way to say this). I would do my best in class and at home.

Please find my 4° 3rd quarter report enclosed. (Written sentences often start with enclosed.)
Cordialement,
Sherry

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Réponse : Lettre motivation/euro de dada03, postée le 13-06-2017 à 20:00:37 (S | E)
Merci à tous pour vos réponses, vois qu'il y a pas mal de fautes , je vais corriger ça tout de suite
Bonne soirée

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