Would rather/help

Would rather/help
Message from suhasini posted on 28-03-2017 at 16:59:21 (D | E | F)
Hello everyone,
Could you help me out with this issue,please?
Thank you for any help.

I've been really confused when would rather comes with past tense and it difficult for me to understand too.
Here is my example,
I'd rather you came with us.
What is the meaning of the above sentence?
And I hope that I'll get clear explanations ... (a clear explanation).

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Edited by lucile83 on 28-03-2017 19:07

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Re: Would rather/help from gerondif, posted on 28-03-2017 at 17:43:43 (D | E)
Hello,
"What is the meaning of the above sentence? And I hope that I'll get a clear explanation."
Try not to be too demanding, after all, you can't control the English level of the people who will choose to answer you.
Normally, I should be clear enough !

I'd rather you came with us.
It means:
I would prefer it if you came with us, if you decided to come with us.
I would like you to come with us.
I suggest you should come with us.
It would be preferable for you to come with us, if you ask me !
I (strongly) advise you to come with us (it depends what tone of voice is used, it could be a veiled order)

Came is not a preterite but a subjunctive, as in: I wish he were with us.I'd rather he were in another group.

Let's explain:
I wish he would come to my party: It is a wish that applies to the future, it also depends on the will of the person to come or not to your party.
I wish he came to my party: Can express a regret now because he never comes, he always finds excuses not to come.
It can also mean that the party has been going on for a while, he isn't here yet and you are getting impatient:

I wish he had come to my party: expresses a regret about something that didn't take place.

Something else about "I'd rather".
In the old days, I mean in the 70's when I learnt English, we used to learn:
I had rather play than work but I had better work than play.
Confusing had('d) with would('d) at the time got you hanged !
"Would", which expresses a preference, was deemed repetitive and wrong with the "rather" which also expresses a preference.

Nowadays, usage won and the confusion has become correct and people use "would rather" just as they would use "would prefer"
I would rather (I'd rather) you came. (a regret about something you usually don't do or a wish about the future)
I would prefer you to come.(definitely a wish about the future)

I of course prefer the old system but as long as it is written or pronounced "I'd rather", it's ok with me, I can hear it the way I like .

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Re: Would rather/help from suhasini, posted on 28-03-2017 at 19:42:22 (D | E)
Hello sir,
First of all,Thank you so much for your explanation. My confusions are totally cleared and Thank you for letting me know my mistake.
According to my basic level of English knowledge, I really thought that I asked my doubt and I'm so sorry for my level of English but,I've mentioned my intend is that I want you to explain to me grammar with sentence explanations. That's why I added that 'I hope that I'll get a clear explanation'. I must confess, please forgive me and I'll never repeat that again.

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Edited by lucile83 on 28-03-2017 21:24

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Re: Would rather/help from gerondif, posted on 28-03-2017 at 20:04:31 (D | E)
No problem, you're welcome!

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