Aide/Correction récit
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Message de sarah971 posté le 30-12-2016 à 19:45:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour / Bonsoir !
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger une expression écrite s'il vous plaît ?
Merci d'avance
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who was 14, came to ********** for vacations and wanted to do canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she would not do this alone despite the fact that I suffer from vertigo.
On site, we had to put on diving suit and it was at that moment that realized what was waiting for me. A stress feeling invading me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to meet the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, inclination of the slop and above all, roots. They exceeded from the ground and brought me down many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that, when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure didn't last long. Indeed, we followed the watercourse until the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not so tough that I thought. There had many others slides similar, so I was more and more relaxed.
But at a moment, the guide announced us that we will have to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters, then 15 to finish with one of 10. I fought for not crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I squeezed it for not fallen. Security measures were not very present for my taste. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scorched. This happened again and again, until the arrived.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was an magical experience that I would never have thought I could do it.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2016 23:22
Message de sarah971 posté le 30-12-2016 à 19:45:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour / Bonsoir !
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger une expression écrite s'il vous plaît ?
Merci d'avance
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who was 14, came to ********** for vacations and wanted to do canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she would not do this alone despite the fact that I suffer from vertigo.
On site, we had to put on diving suit and it was at that moment that realized what was waiting for me. A stress feeling invading me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to meet the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, inclination of the slop and above all, roots. They exceeded from the ground and brought me down many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that, when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure didn't last long. Indeed, we followed the watercourse until the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not so tough that I thought. There had many others slides similar, so I was more and more relaxed.
But at a moment, the guide announced us that we will have to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters, then 15 to finish with one of 10. I fought for not crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I squeezed it for not fallen. Security measures were not very present for my taste. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scorched. This happened again and again, until the arrived.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was an magical experience that I would never have thought I could do it.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2016 23:22
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de sherry48, postée le 01-01-2017 à 14:51:34 (S | E)
Hello.
Begin by taking a look at the things I have indicated below.
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who was
14, came (come or go?) to ********** for vacations and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she would/could/should? not do this alone despite the fact that I suffer from vertigo.On site, we had to put on diving suit_ and it was at that moment that __ realized what was waiting for me. A stress
feeling invading me but nobody saw it.After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to meet (a different verb?) the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, inclination of the slop__ and above all, roots. They exceeded
from the ground and brought me down many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that, when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure didn't last long. Indeed, we followed the watercourse until the first natural toboggan.After passing it, I was reassured because it was not so
tough that I thought. There had many others slides similar, so I was more and more relaxed.But at a
moment, the guide announced have to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters, then 15 to finish with one of 10.(You could improve this sentence to make clearer.) I fought for not crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that __ blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I squeezed (maybe a stronger verb here to show your desperation) it for not fallen. Security measures were not very present (one word synonym here, or revise the sentence) for my taste. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scorched.(different word) This happened again and again, until the arrived.Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was an magical experience that I would never have thought I could do it. (and...it or that...do.)
Regards,
Sherry
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de sarah971, postée le 02-01-2017 à 02:43:33 (S | E)
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she would (elle ne voulait pas) not do this alone despite the fact that I suffer from vertigo.
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what was waiting for me. A stress's feeling invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to got to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, inclination of the slope and above all, roots. They exceeded from the ground and brought me down many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure didn't last long. Indeed, we followed the watercourse until the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as tough as I thought. There were many other similar obstacles, so I was more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we have to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters, then 15 to finish with one of 10. I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I griped it to not fall. Security measures were not at the rendezvous, for my taste. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scratched. This happened again and again, until on arrival.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I would never have thought I could do.
Merci beaucoup ! Bonne année !
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de sherry48, postée le 02-01-2017 à 22:33:23 (S | E)
Hello. It's coming along nicely.
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she would (elle ne voulait pas) not do this alone despite the fact that I suffer from vertigo.
Would not has the sense that she refused to do it alone. If you translate 'elle ne voulait pas' literally, you get...
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what was waiting for me. A stress's feeling invaded me but nobody saw it.
Stress or stress's doesn't work. You could use an adjective here for feeling or a feeling of.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to got
(this is past tense) to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, inclination of the slope and above all, roots. They exceeded (exceeded is one definition-dépasser?-but check for other synonyms that work better) from the ground and brought me down many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure didn't last long. Indeed, we followed the watercourse until the first natural toboggan.After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as tough as I (had) thought (it would be). There were many other similar obstacles, but I became more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we have (tenses don't agree) to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters, followed by 15 more then finish with another of 10 (meters). I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I gripped it to not/so I would not fall. Security measures
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I would never have thought I could do.
Sherry
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de gerondif, postée le 03-01-2017 à 18:52:51 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
quelques corrections supplémentaires:
erreurs en bleu. Corrections en vert
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for a vacation (for a holiday est plus britannique) and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she would (= elle refusait de) not do this alone despite the fact that I suffer from vertigo (en anglais, on dit: "I can't stand heights").
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what was waiting for me(ne se dit pas). A stress's feeling (construction) invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to got to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, inclination of the slope (faites un nom composé) and above all, roots. They exceeded(signifie dépasser pour un taux, un chiffre, pas une racine) from the ground and brought me down(me firent tomber irait mieux) many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure didn't last long. Indeed (ce indeed rhétorique placé en début de phrase est déjà un peu pédant dans les dissertations, alors ici, en pleine aventure, il est incongru), we followed the watercourse until (signifie jusqu'à + complément de temps)the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as tough as I thought. There were many other similar obstacles, so I was more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we have(prétérit ou conditionnel)) to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters (ce of va mal, on dirait a ten-metre-high meeting), then 15 to finish with one of 10. I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that(un peu long) I griped (orthographe) it to not(à l'envers) fall. Security measures were not at the rendezvous (français traduit), for my taste. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scratched. This happened again and again, until on arrival.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I would never have thought I could do.
je crois que je ferais porter le passé sur l'autre verbe ....that I never thought I could have done.
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de sarah971, postée le 04-01-2017 à 14:23:33 (S | E)
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for a vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she did not want to do this alone despite the fact that I cannot stand heights.
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what was waiting for me. A feeling of fear invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to get to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, slop-inclination and above all, roots. They emerged from the ground and made me fallen many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure did not last long. We followed the watercourse until the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as tough as I had thought it would be. There were many other similar obstacles, but I became more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we had to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters, followed by 15 more then finish with another of 10 meters. I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I gripped it not to fall. Security measures were insufficient, in my opinion. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scratched. This happened again and again, until the arrival.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I never thought I could have done.
Comment puis-je traduire "ce qui m'attendait" dans ce cas
? Pour le nom composé, faut-il changer l'ordre des mots ?
Par quoi puis-je remplacer le "until" ?
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de gerondif, postée le 04-01-2017 à 14:46:02 (S | E)
Bonjour,
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for a vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she did not want to do this alone despite the fact that(même si irait mieux) I cannot stand heights.
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what was waiting for me. A feeling of fear invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to get to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, slop(manque un e)-inclination and above all, roots. They emerged(mauvais verbe, essayez stick out from) from the ground and made me fallen many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure did not last long. We followed the watercourse until the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as tough as I had thought it would be. There were many other similar obstacles, but I became more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we had to rappel down a waterfall of 20 meters, followed by 15 more then finish with another of 10 meters. I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I gripped it not to fall. Security (safety) measures were insufficient, in my opinion. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scratched. This happened again and again, until the arrival.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I never thought I could have done.
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de sarah971, postée le 05-01-2017 à 02:13:41 (S | E)
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for a vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she did not want to do this alone even if I cannot stand heights.
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what to expect. A feeling of fear invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to get to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, slope-inclination and above all, roots. They stuck out from the ground and made me fall many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure did not last long. We followed the watercourse till the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as tough as I had thought it would be. There were many other similar obstacles, but I became more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we had to rappel down a waterfall twenty-meter-high, followed by fifteen more then finish with another ten-metre-high. I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I gripped it not to fall. Safety measures were insufficient, in my opinion. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scratched. This happened again and again, until the arrival.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I never thought I could have done.
Je ne comprends pas vraiment votre remarque concernant les "of 10...".
Merci à vous !
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de gerondif, postée le 05-01-2017 à 15:01:10 (S | E)
Bonjour,
si je réponds à vos questions, je finis par corriger à votre place et vous n'avez plus qu'à recopier ma version.
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for a vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she did not want to do this alone even if I cannot stand heights.
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what to expect. (ok, c'est mieux: Il y a deux autres expressions: I realized what I was in for, (ce à quoi je m'engageais) et I realized what was in store for me, ce que le sort me réservait, ce qui m'attendait) A feeling of fear invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to get to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, slope-inclination and above all, roots. They stuck out from the ground and made me fall many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure did not last long. We followed the watercourse till the first natural toboggan.
Till ou until sont temporels, donc till we reached, until we reached the first toboggan irait. Sinon, en tapant jusqu'à dans le dictionnaire en ligne, on voit (mais bien sûr, mélangé à tout le reste, difficile de savoir que c'est celui à choisir, up to ou down to qu'on apprend en 5ème 4ème dans les textes sur les plans de ville où on dit: go down to the traffic lights, then turn right into Baker Street Go up to the theater then turn right...)
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as tough (hard) as I had thought it would be. There were many other similar obstacles, but I became more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we had (j'aurais dit que nous aurions à, un conditionnel, un futur dans le passé) to rappel down a waterfall twenty-meter-high (formule adjectivale invariable mais à mettre en épithète, devant le nom, sinon on dira a waterfall twenty metres high) , followed by (une autre de 15 m)fifteen
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I never thought I could have done.
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de sarah971, postée le 05-01-2017 à 22:03:26 (S | E)
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for a vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she did not want to do this alone even if I cannot stand heights.
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what I was in for. A feeling of fear invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to get to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, slope-inclination and above all, roots. They stuck out from the ground and made me fall many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure did not last long. We followed the watercourse till we reached the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as hard as I had thought it would be. There were many other similar obstacles, but I became more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we would have to rappel down a waterfall twenty meter high, followed by another one of fifteen then finish with another ten-metre-high waterfall. I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I gripped it not to fall. Safety measures were insufficient, in my opinion. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scratched. This happened again and again, until the arrival.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I never thought I could have done.
Merci !
Par ailleurs, n'allez pas penser que je considère ce site comme une plateforme de traducteurs privés ! C'est juste que je n'avais pas compris certains points de votre précédente correction...
J'hésitais à mettre le "up to"... J'avais une chance sur deux 
Je vous remercie pour votre implication !
Bonne soirée à vous.
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de gerondif, postée le 05-01-2017 à 22:25:48 (S | E)
a waterfall twenty meter high, followed by another one of fifteen .
a waterfall twenty metres high (attribut), followed by another one of fifteen,then finish with another ten-metre-high(ok, épithète) waterfall.
Réponse : Aide/Correction récit de sarah971, postée le 06-01-2017 à 16:31:55 (S | E)
During the Christmas holidays, I had to face a challenge.
In fact, my cousin who is 14, went to ********** for a vacation and wanted to go canyoning in the heart of the tropical forest. I decided to accompany her because she did not want to do this alone even if I cannot stand heights.
On site, we had to put on diving suits and it was at that moment that I realized what I was in for. A feeling of fear invaded me but nobody saw it.
After that, we followed the guide into the forest in order to get to the river. Crossing was horrible due to mud, slope-inclination and above all, roots. They stuck out from the ground and made me fall many times. This nightmare lasted more than 30 minutes. So much so that when I saw the river, I jumped in because I was so glad that it was over. However, the pleasure did not last long. We followed the watercourse till we reached the first natural toboggan.
After passing it, I was reassured because it was not as hard as I had thought it would be. There were many other similar obstacles, but I became more and more relaxed.
But at a certain moment, the guide announced that we would have to rappel down a waterfall twenty meters high, followed by another one, then finish with another ten-meter-high waterfall. I fought to keep from crying. On the way down, the water flow was so powerful that it blinded me and swung me like a dead branch. Moreover, the rope burnt my hands due to the fact that I gripped it not to fall. Safety measures were insufficient, in my opinion. Once in the water, I was exhausted and my knees were scratched. This happened again and again, until the arrival.
Although I suffered for 5 hours, it was a magical experience that I never thought I could have done.
Il me semble que l'on dit "meters" en anglais et non pas "metres" ?
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Modifié par sarah971 le 06-01-2017 16:46
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Modifié par sarah971 le 06-01-2017 16:49
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