Rédaction/ travail artiste
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Message de maevab75 posté le 01-12-2016 à 21:07:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je sollicite votre aide pour corriger une courte rédaction décrivant le travail d'un artiste. J'ai travaillé essentiellement avec wordreference.Je me suis relue plusieurs fois mais je crains qu'il y ait encore de nombreuses fautes...
Merci d'avance
I want to present a work of a friend. In this video we can see a black bracelet. Firstly, the video presents the bracelets as an object. Secondly , the video tells the story of this bracelet. The second part of the video is as a description of his project.
This bracelet is realized with sharp scales. This object has an agressive aspect. In the video the bracelet becomes alive and begins moving. It looks like an aggressive animal which waking up. We can see a storm of little small triangular scales. The presentation of his work is very disturbing. He used a nerve-racking sound. This sound reminds the sound of a body and organs.
The bracelet contracts and moves as an organ in movement. It looks like a body in pain.
The name of the artist is S. He studied at the great school of art décoratifs at Strasbourg. He studied the art of the contemporary jewel. He created many organic jewels. His work is based on the body and more particulary to organs and cells.
On the video his creation is very géometric. It contrasts with the rest of his work which is very organic.
This artist is suffering from the Chron's disease. It is a auto-immun desease who affects the intestine.
His work is a way of express himself about his desease.
This black bracelet is the darkest of his projects.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-12-2016 21:50
Message de maevab75 posté le 01-12-2016 à 21:07:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je sollicite votre aide pour corriger une courte rédaction décrivant le travail d'un artiste. J'ai travaillé essentiellement avec wordreference.Je me suis relue plusieurs fois mais je crains qu'il y ait encore de nombreuses fautes...
Merci d'avance
I want to present a work of a friend. In this video we can see a black bracelet. Firstly, the video presents the bracelets as an object. Secondly , the video tells the story of this bracelet. The second part of the video is as a description of his project.
This bracelet is realized with sharp scales. This object has an agressive aspect. In the video the bracelet becomes alive and begins moving. It looks like an aggressive animal which waking up. We can see a storm of little small triangular scales. The presentation of his work is very disturbing. He used a nerve-racking sound. This sound reminds the sound of a body and organs.
The bracelet contracts and moves as an organ in movement. It looks like a body in pain.
The name of the artist is S. He studied at the great school of art décoratifs at Strasbourg. He studied the art of the contemporary jewel. He created many organic jewels. His work is based on the body and more particulary to organs and cells.
On the video his creation is very géometric. It contrasts with the rest of his work which is very organic.
This artist is suffering from the Chron's disease. It is a auto-immun desease who affects the intestine.
His work is a way of express himself about his desease.
This black bracelet is the darkest of his projects.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-12-2016 21:50
Réponse : Rédaction/ travail artiste de here4u, postée le 02-12-2016 à 14:38:26 (S | E)
Hello !
I want to present a work of a friend (mal exprimé. Plusieurs autres possiblités existent!). In this video we can see a black bracelet. Firstly, the video presents the bracelets as an object. Secondly , the video tells the story of this bracelet. The second part of the video is as a description of his (whose?) project.
This bracelet is realized with sharp scales (fish scales?)
. This object has an agressive aspect. In the video the bracelet becomes alive and begins moving. It looks like an aggressive animal which waking up(il manque un auxiliaire!). We can see a storm ??? of little small ???? triangular scales. The presentation of his work is very disturbing. He used a nerve-racking sound. This sound reminds XX XX the sound of a body and organs.The bracelet contracts and moves as an organ in movement. It looks like a body in pain.
The name of the artist is S. He studied at the great school of art décoratifs at Strasbourg. He studied the art of the contemporary jewelS. He created many organic jewels. His work is based on the body and more particulary to organs and cells.
On the video his creation is very géometric. It contrasts with the rest of his work which is very organic.
This artist is suffering from the Chron's = CROHN'sdisease. It is aN auto-immun desease who affects the intestine.
His work is a way of express himself about his desease.
This black bracelet is the darkest of his projects.
Réponse : Rédaction/ travail artiste de maevab75, postée le 03-12-2016 à 00:19:49 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour cette correction
Que signifie les "XX XX"?
Pour "sharp scales" je voulais dire des "écailles pointues"... je ne sais pas vraiment comment l'exprimer autrement malgré mes recherches...
Réponse : Rédaction/ travail artiste de maevab75, postée le 03-12-2016 à 00:26:32 (S | E)
est ce que la phrase " I want to present a slide show of a friend's work" convient mieux pour la première phrase du texte?
merci d'avance
Réponse : Rédaction/ travail artiste de elpadrino, postée le 03-12-2016 à 09:22:26 (S | E)
Hello,
Oui cette phrase est valable pour commencer.
Bonne chance.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-12-2016 14:08
Réponse : Rédaction/ travail artiste de maevab75, postée le 03-12-2016 à 16:28:05 (S | E)
Merci
Réponse : Rédaction/ travail artiste de here4u, postée le 04-12-2016 à 00:06:36 (S | E)
Hello !
XXXX XXXX signifient qu'il manque un ou des mots ! (to remind someone OF something!)
Réponse : Rédaction/ travail artiste de maevab75, postée le 04-12-2016 à 12:20:15 (S | E)
d'accord
merci :*Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
