Correction/ texte
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Message de laurene13 posté le 28-11-2015 à 19:43:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je viens vous demander de l'aide car j'ai un texte à écrire et à exprimer à l'oral et c'est vraiment important pour moi d'avoir une bonne note dessus sachant que je ne suis pas très fort en anglais. Je l'ai déjà écrit mais j'ai peur d'avoir fait des fautes énormes donc si quelqu'un voulait bien m'indiquer oùsont elle elles sont, merci d'avance pour vos réponses
Christopher was a normal pupil, he worked at school and have lot of friends. But when he was only 13, he lost his mother, who was a fireman, in a big fire. He was very sad, depressed and completely lost but he had to hide all this because he had to take care of his young brother and sister. He also has a father who would have been able to take care of them but his father is put drinking to flood his suffering.
Chris supported the pressure during two years, but when he was 16, During his first year at the high school, everything worsened. In the third month at the high school, While he joined a friend to the cinema, he met a teenager stabbing another child. He hate violence, then he threw itself on the aggressor and this one is runs away.
It is from this moment there that he had lot of matter at the school. The aggressor was infact a student at his school and when he recognized Christopher, he organise a band to make his life impossible. At the beginning it was just insults, then nudges, and that's finishes at the hospital with three broken coast. The head master of the school ever made nothing and harassment continued until 31 Mars.
On March 31ST, in the evening, while, he was watching TV quietly, his father arrived, completely soul and he began to beat him without stopping.
Irritated, he's left on his motorcycle, and collided a tree. Further to this accident, he stayed 6 months in the coma. A day, boys who harassed him to the school came at hospital and tried to strike him while it was still in the coma. When his father learnt the new, he decided that it had gone too far and that they were going to move
Unfortunately, the troubles did not stop Once arrived at Lyon, he defended a girl who was knocked by her boyfriend, and the violence continued for him.
xxxxxxx
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-11-2015 20:56
La 2e question doit être posée à part dans un autre sujet.
Message de laurene13 posté le 28-11-2015 à 19:43:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je viens vous demander de l'aide car j'ai un texte à écrire et à exprimer à l'oral et c'est vraiment important pour moi d'avoir une bonne note dessus sachant que je ne suis pas très fort en anglais. Je l'ai déjà écrit mais j'ai peur d'avoir fait des fautes énormes donc si quelqu'un voulait bien m'indiquer où
Christopher was a normal pupil, he worked at school and have lot of friends. But when he was only 13, he lost his mother, who was a fireman, in a big fire. He was very sad, depressed and completely lost but he had to hide all this because he had to take care of his young brother and sister. He also has a father who would have been able to take care of them but his father is put drinking to flood his suffering.
Chris supported the pressure during two years, but when he was 16, During his first year at the high school, everything worsened. In the third month at the high school, While he joined a friend to the cinema, he met a teenager stabbing another child. He hate violence, then he threw itself on the aggressor and this one is runs away.
It is from this moment there that he had lot of matter at the school. The aggressor was infact a student at his school and when he recognized Christopher, he organise a band to make his life impossible. At the beginning it was just insults, then nudges, and that's finishes at the hospital with three broken coast. The head master of the school ever made nothing and harassment continued until 31 Mars.
On March 31ST, in the evening, while, he was watching TV quietly, his father arrived, completely soul and he began to beat him without stopping.
Irritated, he's left on his motorcycle, and collided a tree. Further to this accident, he stayed 6 months in the coma. A day, boys who harassed him to the school came at hospital and tried to strike him while it was still in the coma. When his father learnt the new, he decided that it had gone too far and that they were going to move
Unfortunately, the troubles did not stop Once arrived at Lyon, he defended a girl who was knocked by her boyfriend, and the violence continued for him.
xxxxxxx
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-11-2015 20:56
La 2e question doit être posée à part dans un autre sujet.
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