Correction/summary
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Message from vibolcambodge posted on 08-06-2015 at 12:35:43 (D | E | F)
Hello Everyone,
Could you help me to correct my summary please? Thanks for any reply.
The open window
Summary
Mr.Framton Nuttel has a problem with his health. He gets nervous easily. The noise makes him nervous; waiting for someone makes him nervous; talking with stranger makes him nervous; everything that happens can make him nervous. His doctor asked him to live in good place and find someone who can talks with him in order to calm his nerves. His sister gave him a letter which asks him to go to his neighborhood Mrs. Sappleton.
When he has arrived at home's Mrs. Sappleton, he met Vera's niece Mrs. Sappleton. She is a fifteen years old girl. She is good at make up story. When she realizes that Mr. Framton know nothing about her family, she organizes a story about open window. The window is kept open because her aunt's husband and brothers who were killed in an accident while they went hunting. The all drowned in a swamp three years ago. Mrs. Sappleton believes that they will come back one day. When Mrs. Sapppleton arrived, Vera stopped talking. Mrs. Sappleton started to talk about her husband and her two brothers's hunting. Mr. Framton became more and more nervous. He tried to change the topic of the conversation but, she ignored him.
Suddenly, her husband and brothers came back home with his dogs. Mr. Framton caught sight of them. He believed they all were ghosts. He got extremely nervous. He grabbed his hat and ran away.
Mrs. Stapleton don't understand why ne has run away. Her niece explained that Mr. Framton was afraid of dogs.
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Edited by lucile83 on 08-06-2015 15:24
Message from vibolcambodge posted on 08-06-2015 at 12:35:43 (D | E | F)
Hello Everyone,
Could you help me to correct my summary please? Thanks for any reply.
The open window
Summary
Mr.Framton Nuttel has a problem with his health. He gets nervous easily. The noise makes him nervous; waiting for someone makes him nervous; talking with stranger makes him nervous; everything that happens can make him nervous. His doctor asked him to live in good place and find someone who can talks with him in order to calm his nerves. His sister gave him a letter which asks him to go to his neighborhood Mrs. Sappleton.
When he has arrived at home's Mrs. Sappleton, he met Vera's niece Mrs. Sappleton. She is a fifteen years old girl. She is good at make up story. When she realizes that Mr. Framton know nothing about her family, she organizes a story about open window. The window is kept open because her aunt's husband and brothers who were killed in an accident while they went hunting. The all drowned in a swamp three years ago. Mrs. Sappleton believes that they will come back one day. When Mrs. Sapppleton arrived, Vera stopped talking. Mrs. Sappleton started to talk about her husband and her two brothers's hunting. Mr. Framton became more and more nervous. He tried to change the topic of the conversation but, she ignored him.
Suddenly, her husband and brothers came back home with his dogs. Mr. Framton caught sight of them. He believed they all were ghosts. He got extremely nervous. He grabbed his hat and ran away.
Mrs. Stapleton don't understand why ne has run away. Her niece explained that Mr. Framton was afraid of dogs.
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Edited by lucile83 on 08-06-2015 15:24
Re: Correction/summary from razzor, posted on 08-06-2015 at 13:23:19 (D | E)
Hello,
Mistakes in blue
"Mr.Framton Nuttel has a problem with his health. He gets nervous easily. The noise makes him nervous; waiting for someone makes him nervous; talking with stranger
plural makes him nervous; everything that happens can make him nervous. His doctor asked him to live in indefinite article is missing good place and find someone who can talks the base form of the verb is required after 'can' with him in order to calm his nerves. His sister gave him a letter which asks him to go to his neighborhood neighbour? Mrs. Sappleton.When he has arrived
the preterite is better here at home's Mrs. Sappleton Mrs Sappleton is the owner. You need to therefore place the apostrophe S after her name followed by 'home', he met Vera's niece Mrs. Sappleton. She is a fifteen years fifteen-year old girl. She is good at make present participle up story plural. When she realizes that Mr. Framton know wrong conjugation. You need to conjugate the verb in the third person singular nothing about her family, she organizes a story about indefinite article open window. The window is kept open because her aunt's husband and brothers who remove were killed in an accident while they went hunting. The all drowned in a swamp three years ago. Mrs. Sappleton believes that they will come back one day. When Mrs. Sapppleton arrived, Vera stopped talking. Mrs. Sappleton started to talk about her husband and her two brothers's 'brothers' is already in the plural, so you don't need the 's' after the apostrophe hunting. Mr. Framton became more and more nervous. He tried to change the topic of the conversation but, she ignored him.Suddenly, her husband and brothers came back home with his dogs. Mr. Framton caught sight of them. He believed they all were
swap 'all' and 'were' round ghosts. He got extremely nervous. He grabbed his hat and ran away.Mrs. Stapleton don't
verb needs to be conjugated in the first person singular understand why ne what is this word? has run away. Her niece explained that Mr. Framton was afraid of dogs."Re: Correction/summary from vibolcambodge, posted on 09-06-2015 at 04:11:16 (D | E)
Thank you Razzor,
I don’t understand what you mean “swap ‘all’ and ‘ were‘ round ghosts.” I guess I should say “they were all ghosts.
Mr. Framton Nuttle has a problem with his health. He gets nervous easily. The noise makes him nervous; waiting for someone makes him nervous; talking with strangers makes him nervous; everything that happens can make him nervous. His doctor asked him to live in a good place and find someone who can talk with him in order to calm his nerves. His sister gave him a letter which asks him to go to his ancient neighbor Mrs. Sappleton, in the countryside.
When he arrived at Mrs. Sappleton’s home, he met Vera, the niece of Mrs. Sappleton. She is a fifteen-year old girl. She is good at making up stories. When she realizes that Mr. Framton knows nothing about her family, she organizes a story about an open window. The window is kept open because her aunt’s husband and brothers were killed in an accident while they went hunting. The all drowned in a swamp three years ago. Mrs. Sappleton believes that they will come back one day. When Mrs. Sappleton arrived, Vera stopped talking. Mrs. Sappleton started to talk about her husband and her two brothers hunting. Mr. Framton became more and more nervous. He tried to change the topic of the conversation buy, she ignored him.
Suddenly, her husband and brothers came back home with his dogs. Mr. Framton caught sight of them. He believed they were all ghosts. He got extremely nervous. He grabbed his hat and ran away.
Mrs. Sappleton doesn’t understand why he has run away. Her niece explained that Mr. Framton was afraid of dogs.
Regard
vibol
Re: Correction/summary from razzor, posted on 09-06-2015 at 14:24:41 (D | E)
Hello again
Yes, that's right. I just asked you to change the position of 'all' and 'were'.
Mr. Framton Nuttle has a problem with his health. He gets nervous easily. The noise makes him nervous; waiting for someone makes him nervous; talking with strangers makes him nervous; everything that happens can make him nervous. His doctor asked him to live in a good place and find someone who can talk with him in order to calm his nerves. His sister gave him a letter which asks him to go to his ancient
this is not a good adjective to use. Think of another one. neighbor Mrs. Sappleton, in the countryside.When he arrived at Mrs. Sappleton’s home, he met Vera, the niece of Mrs. Sappleton
better to use the genitive form (apostrophe S). She is a fifteen-year old girl. She is good at making up stories. When she realizes that Mr. Framton knows nothing about her family, she organizes a story about an open window. The window is kept open because her aunt’s husband and brothers were killed in an accident while they went hunting. The typo? all drowned in a swamp three years ago. Mrs. Sappleton believes that they will come back one day. When Mrs. Sappleton arrived, Vera stopped talking. Mrs. Sappleton started to talk about her husband and her two brothers hunting. Mr. Framton became more and more nervous. He tried to change the topic of the conversation buy don't you mean 'but'?, she ignored him.Suddenly, her husband and brothers came back home with his
do the dogs belong to all of them? If so, use another possessive adjective dogs. Mr. Framton caught sight of them. He believed they were all ghosts. He got extremely nervous. He grabbed his hat and ran away.Mrs. Sappleton doesn’t understand why he has run away. Her niece explained that Mr. Framton was afraid of dogs.
Re: Correction/summary from vibolcambodge, posted on 09-06-2015 at 18:29:37 (D | E)
Thank you Razzor! I read five time my rewriting, I hope it's ok now
Mr.Framton Nuttle has a problem with his health. He gets nervous easily. The noise makes him nervous; waiting for someone makes him nervous; talking with strangers makes him nervous; everything that happens can make him nervous. His doctor asked him to live in a good place and find someone who can talk with him in order to calm his nerves. His sister gave him a letter which asks him to go to his old neighbor Mrs. Sappleton, in the countryside.
When he arrived at Mrs. Sappleton’s home, he met Vera Mrs. Sappleton's niece. She is a fifteen-year old girl. She is good at making up stories. When she realizes that Mr. Framton knows nothing about her family, she organizes a story about an open window. The window is kept open because her aunt’s husband and brothers were killed in an accident while they went hunting. They all drowned in a swamp three years ago. Mrs. Sappleton believes that they will come back one day. When Mrs. Sappleton arrived, Vera stopped talking. Mrs. Sappleton started to talk about her husband and her two brothers hunting. Mr. Framton became more and more nervous. He tried to change the topic of the conversation but, she ignored him.
Suddenly, her husband and brothers came back home with their dogs. Mr. Framton caught sight of them. He believed they were all ghosts. He got extremely nervous. He grabbed his hat and ran away.
Mrs. Sappleton doesn’t understand why he has run away. Her niece explained that Mr. Framton was afraid of dogs.
Regard
vibol
Re: Correction/summary from razzor, posted on 09-06-2015 at 18:54:19 (D | E)
I don't see any more mistakes in your text
Re: Correction/summary from vibolcambodge, posted on 10-06-2015 at 03:40:34 (D | E)
Thank you so much Razzor
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