E-mail/Correction

E-mail/Correction
Message de isayvalau posté le 18-10-2014 à 14:50:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Mon devoir d'anglais est un e-mail à rendre. Pourriez-vous me corriger ou avez-vous des idées d'améliorations de mes phrases s'il vous plaît ?
Merci beaucoup d'avance.

From : G.Gog
To : Tourist information center of NYC
Date: 22 September 2014

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to ask you about any information regarding my holiday in NYC.
I decided to cross the East-Coast next summer, so I am going to make stopover one week in NYC (from the 15th to the 22nd of August).
First of all, I need an accommodation for one person in Manhattan district. I don’t want to rent a studio or an apartment, I want to be in a hotel which makes breakfast. I have heard great things about Best Western hotels.

Would you please tell me whether there is one of these hotels in Manhattan district.
During my trip, I will go to the Empire State Building. Therefore, I would be grateful if you could tell me how to get there and if there are any other major see-sights in the district.
I need a last information, I would like to know if there is special events. So, could you please tell me on what date.
Finally, I would appreciate it if you have at measure special offers and packages for see sights, special events, different kinds of tours, etc..
Yours faithfully.
G.Gog

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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-10-2014 16:37

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Réponse: E-mail/Correction de sherry48, postée le 18-10-2014 à 23:43:54 (S | E)
Hello.

From : G.Gog
To : Tourist information center of NYC
Date: 22 September 2014

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to ask you about any information regarding my holiday in NYC. [ask for -any is most appropriate in questions and negative statements]
I decided to cross [consider a different word] the east coast next summer, so I am going to make stopover [a stopover is a very brief stay, perhaps 1 night] one week in NYC (from the 15th to the 22nd of August).
First of all, I need an accommodation for one person in ___ Manhattan district. I don’t want to rent a studio or an apartment, I want to be in a hotel which makes provides/serves breakfast. I have heard great things about Best Western hotels.

Would you please tell me whether there is one of these hotels in Manhattan district?
During my trip, I will go to the Empire State Building. Therefore, I would be grateful if you could tell me how to get there and if there are any other major see-sights in the district. [You go sightseeing, you can see the sights or visit other attractions, etc].
I need a last ___ __ information, I would like to know if there is_____ special events. If so, could you please tell me on what date. [This is a question, or you could rewrite as a statement].
Finally, I would appreciate it if you have at measure ____ special offers or packages for see sights, special events, different kinds of tours, etc..
Yours faithfully.
G.Gog

Regards,
Sherry

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Réponse: E-mail/Correction de isayvalau, postée le 19-10-2014 à 13:40:50 (S | E)
Thanks for your answer !
Is it Ok now ?

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to ask for any information regarding my holiday in NYC.
I decided to go through the East-Coast next summer, so I am going to spend one week in NYC (from the 15th to the 22nd of August).
First of all, I need an accommodation for one person in the borough of Manhattan. I don’t want to rent a studio or an apartment, I want to be in a hotel which provides breakfast. I have heard great things about Best Western hotels.
Would you please tell me whether there is one of these hotels in Manhattan.
During my trip, I will go to the Empire State Building. Therefore, I would be grateful if you could tell me how to get there and if there are any other major must-see sights in the district.
I need one more information, I would like to know if there are special events. If so, could you please tell me on what date.
Finally, I would appreciate it if you have special offers or packages for sights, special events, different kinds of tours, etc..
Yours faithfully.
G.Gog.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-10-2014 17:09

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Réponse: E-mail/Correction de sherry48, postée le 19-10-2014 à 22:41:34 (S | E)
Hello.

You have made some good corrections, but I would say some information rather than any.
No need to hyphenate east coast.
The borough of Manhattan is great.
Would you please tell me whether there is one of these hotels in Manhattan...[This is still a question...]
Information is uncountable.
I would like to know if there are any special events. If so, could you please tell me on what date. [This is a question].
Sherry

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