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    Correction/génération

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    Correction/génération
    Message de slopezj posté le 11-10-2014 à 07:23:02 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour !
    J'essaie chaque jour un peu plus de m'améliorer en anglais ! Pourriez vous me dire si cet exercice contient des erreurs s'il vous plait ?
    Merci à tous ceux qui apporteront leur aide !
    Julie.

    1. Tell us what generation you belong to, Baby Boomer, GenX or GenY (Millennials)?

    The Millennials are those who were born between 1980 and 2000. According to “The classification of the generations” that we currently know, I can be listed among the Millennials. In fact, I was born on May 24th of 1992.

    2. What do you think of what she says about Millennials?

    Some researchers have demonstrated that each generation can be analysed through basic archetypes.
    Each generation has her specific character, which can also be reflected by the human behaviour.
    In this video above Lynne Lancaster presents the characteristics of the Millennials.

    From the outset and throughout the video she gives us several tools to familiarize ourselves with the definition of the Millennials.
    To summarize, in life, the Millennials are always seeking new experiences, we qualify them as: confident people… We can also appoint from among them some leaders…

    To my mind, most of the Millennials do not belong to that definition. I belong to the same group and that is why I can assure you that it is not true.
    Indeed, I am part of group who contains opportunists and selfish people. A group overwhelmed by that kind of people who believe the world revolves around them.

    In addition, we live in a world besieged by money and power. Therefore, we do not aspire to “Big Things” anymore as was formerly the case. We are being sucked by the Western consumer society.
    The Millennials always want to have it both ways! They also want to get tattoos, and finish their lives in a tax haven.
    Lastly, although I do not agree with all her remarks, her explanation is clear and rewarding!

    3. If you're a Millennial, do you recognize yourself? Why?

    As previously mentioned, through the prism of my eyes the “Millennials” cannot be associated with a positive vision. Therefore I do not recognize myself on this video.
    I am not selfish or an opportunist person, but we should admit that our generation prefers to wait things to come in the palm of her hand.

    We have grown rapidly over the last 30 years through the development of Communication technologies, in particular with internet.
    Thanks to internet we have an unlimited access to the information. Also today it is straightforward to get in touch with another country in an instantaneous way. That geographical proximity generates a smaller vision of the world.
    However, this accessibility seems to increase the laziness, in fact the Millennials usually think that everything can be done easily.


    4. Any other comments you have after having watched the video...

    To start, this video could be a priceless indispensable tool in the work environment. Leaders need to
    acquire profound knowledge of the other. Thereafter they can pass on their knowledge to the next
    generation.
    Unfortunately this video does not offer the view that the Millennials have of their own selves.
    It is worthwhile to make a succinct summary of the different types of generations that currently exist.
    The concerns and issues raised during each periods are constantly evolving.
    Moreover, this shows us how the world move fast.
    To conclude, we are on the eve of several main changes, this video raises questions about the next generation: “What will be the next generation?”

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 11-10-2014 08:24


    Réponse: Correction/génération de here4u, postée le 11-10-2014 à 10:23:00 (S | E)
    Hello again !

    Your work is too long for me to 'correct' in one go ! I'll be back when I can ...

    1. Tell us what generation you belong to, Baby Boomer, GenX or GenY (Millennials)?

    The Millennials are those who were born between 1980 and 2000. According to “The classification of the generations” that we currently know, I can be listed among the Millennials. In fact, I was born on May 24th of 1992.

    2. What do you think of what she says about Millennials?

    Some researchers have demonstrated that each generation can be analysed through basic archetypes.
    Each generation has her specific character, which can also be reflected by the human behaviour.
    In this video above Lynne Lancaster presents the characteristics of the Millennials.

    From the outset and throughout the video she gives us several tools to familiarize(boff !) ourselves with the definition of the Millennials.
    To summarize, in life, the Millennials are always seeking new experiences, we qualify them as: confident people… We can also appoint from among them some leaders…(the whole construction of the sentence should be re examined !)

    To my mind, most of the Millennials do not belong(voc) to that definition. I belong to the same group and that is why I can assure you that it is not true.(but you may be a-typical ! )
    Indeed, I am part of group who(Try to avoid the problem of the choice of the relative -both can 'shock'- using another construction ...) contains opportunists and selfish people. (??)A group overwhelmed (??? are you ? bad choice of word) by that kind of people who believe the world revolves around them.

    In addition, we live in a world besieged (boff !)there are better words ! by money and power. Therefore, we do not aspire to “Big Things” anymore as was formerly the case(very clumsy). We are being sucked XX by the Western consumer society.
    The Millennials always want to have it both ways! They also want to get tattoos, and finish their lives in a tax-free haven.
    Lastly, although I do not agree with all her remarks, her explanation is clear and rewarding!

    'That's all for now"! (to be continued !)



    Réponse: Correction/génération de slopezj, postée le 11-10-2014 à 18:44:51 (S | E)
    Bonjour merci pour votre réponse encore une fois =P

    Je voulais vous demander que signifient les deux XX " We are being sucked XX " ?
    J'essaie de faire de mon mieux j'ai l'impression de ne pas progresser c'est très frustrant...
    J'ai remplacé " In this video above ..." par "Within this video"
    We can also appoint from among them some leaders…(the whole construction of the sentence should be re examined !) je propose :
    From among them we can appoint some leaders.
    Enfin, j'ai supprimé tous les " The " devant Millennials,
    To my mind, most of the Millennials do not belong(voc) to that definition : je propose finalement Millennials do not reflect this definition
    Merci pour votre aide ;)
    Julie.



    Réponse: Correction/génération de tdu6300, postée le 13-10-2014 à 03:53:40 (S | E)
    Hello Julie
    J'ai repris vos phrases en bleu, et mes commentaires en noir.
    NOTE: J'espère que here4u me pardonnera de l'avoir citée sans lui avoir demandé son avis.

    Je voulais vous demander que signifient les deux XX " We are being sucked XX " ?
    Quand here4u intervient dans un forum, elle applique souvent les mêmes conventions.
    En général, les XXX correspondent à des mots manquants.
    Ici, je crois même qu'elle a voulu vous aider en ne mettant que deux X. Je pense que le mot manquant ne contient que 2 lettres.

    J'essaie de faire de mon mieux j'ai l'impression de ne pas progresser c'est très frustrant...
    Pour être intervenu sur un autre de vos forum, je sais que vous faites des progrés. En revanche, et je sais que vous le comprenez très bien, nous nous interdisons de nous substituer à vous, et de faire le travail à votre place. Nous ne pouvons que vous aider, vous orienter et vous encourager.
    Il se peut malheureusement que certaines de nos "orientations" vous désorientent. Ce sont les risques du métier.
    Ne baissez pas les bras. Il y a de la graine de en vous et en bien d'autres aussi.

    J'ai remplacé " In this video above ..." par "Within this video"
    Bien que je pense que ce ne soit pas ce à quoi pensait here4u, c'est mieux. En fait, reprenons votre première phrase "In this video above" et traduisons la: "Dans cette vidéo ci-dessus" Vous comprenez immédiatement qu'il y a un mot en trop ou qu'il y en a un qui n'est pas le bon. C'est soit "dans cette video" soit "dans la vidéo ci-dessus". En anglais, c'est pareil. Lequel enlever? Nous vous laissons le choix. Cette méthode (de re-traduction) n'est pas toujours applicable, mais elle est parfois efficace.

    We can also appoint from among them some leaders…(the whole construction of the sentence should be re examined !) je propose :

    From among them we can appoint some leaders.
    Quelques règles: Vous avez peu de chance de vous tromper si vous commencez par le sujet.
    Pour ce qui est de la place des mots voir (2) ci-dessous et le lien internet auquel il se réfère

    Reprenons donc là aussi votre phrase de départ qui n'est pas si mal après tout, mais contient plusieurs erreurs, un peu comme si dans une course de chevaux, des chevaux n'ayant rien à voir avec la course se mélangent aux chevaux prévus, et qu'en plus vous avez le résultat, mais dans le désordre...
    We can also appoint from among them some leaders
    Séparons maintenant les différentes erreurs
    We can also appoint(1) from among them(3) some leaders(2)
    (1) Ce n'est pas le bon verbe. Est-ce que vous chercher à embaucher des leaders ou bien voulez-vous exprimer une autre idée? Si oui, laquelle? Trouvez le bon verbe.
    (2)Lien internet

    (3)Comme pour "In this video above" plus haut, traduisez en français ce que vous avez écrit et vous devriez trouver la réponse.
    En traitant ces trois points, vous devriez avoir remis la phrase en ordre tout en ayant "exclu les chevaux qui n'avaient rien à faire dans la course"

    Enfin, j'ai supprimé tous les " The " devant Millennials,
    A mon avis, bonne idée. Pour vous en persuader, revoyez les lessons sur les articles:
    Lien internet


    To my mind, most of the Millennials do not belong(voc) to that definition : je propose finalement Millennials do not reflect this definition
    Je croyais que vous aviez dit que vous ne faisiez pas de progrés. C'est nettement mieux ça...
    En espérant vous être utile.
    Best regards.




    Réponse: Correction/génération de slopezj, postée le 14-10-2014 à 19:35:40 (S | E)
    Bonjour,

    Merci pour tout j'ai repris mon texte et je pense être un peu plus au point; merci pour les liens. Je vais revoir certains cours afin de parfaire tout ceci.
    Votre travail m'aide vraiment, il va de soi que vous ne pouvez faire le travail à ma place, les indications que m'avez données m'ont réellement apporté beaucoup !
    A bientôt ;)

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 14-10-2014 21:07



    Réponse: Correction/génération de slopezj, postée le 14-10-2014 à 20:01:50 (S | E)
    2. If you're a Millennial, do you recognize yourself? Why?

    Through the prism of my eyes “Millennials” cannot be associated with a positive vision. Therefore, I do not recognize myself on this video.
    I am not selfish or an opportunist person, but we should admit that our generation prefers to wait things to come in the palm of it hand.

    We have grown rapidly over last 30 years through the development of communication technologies, in particular with internet.
    Thanks to internet we have an unlimited access to information. Moreover, today it is straightforward to get in touch with another country in an instantaneous way. This geographical proximity generates a smaller vision of the world.
    However, this accessibility seems to increase laziness, in fact Millennials usually think everything can be done easily.


    3. Any other comments you have after having watched the video...

    First, this video could be an indispensable tool in the work environment. Leaders need to acquire profound knowledge of people. Thereafter, they can pass on their knowledge to the next generation.
    Unfortunately, this video does not present the point of view that Millennials have of their own selves.
    It is worthwhile to make a succinct summary of the different types of generations that currently exist.
    The concerns and issues raised during each periods are constantly evolving.
    Moreover, it shows us how the world move fast.
    To conclude, we are on the eve of several main changes, this video raises questions about the next generation: “What will be the next generation?”

    J'ai effectué quelques changements sur la fin du texte; qu'en pensez-vous ?



    Réponse: Correction/génération de here4u, postée le 14-10-2014 à 23:41:40 (S | E)
    Hello !

    Sorry I was so long to continue, but I have a lot on my plate just now ...

    I have no time (for now )to read the whole conversation and the comments ...

    '3. If you're a Millennial, do you recognize yourself? Why?

    As previously mentioned, through the prism of my eyes the “Millennials” cannot be associated with a positive vision. Therefore I do not recognize myself on this video.
    I am not X selfish or an opportunist person, but we should admit that our generation prefers to wait XXX things to come in the palm of her hand.(To fall right into your lap)

    We have grown rapidly over the last 30 years through the development of Communication technologies (of IT?), in particular with XXX internet.
    Thanks to XXX internet we have an unlimited access to the information. Also today it is straightforward to get in touch with another country in an instantaneous way. That geographical proximity generates a smaller vision of the world.
    However, this accessibility seems to increase the laziness, in fact the Millennials usually think that everything can be done easily.(by others!)

    3. Any other comments you have after having watched the video...

    First, this video could be an indispensable tool in the work environment. Leaders need to acquire profound knowledge of people. Thereafter, they can pass on their knowledge to the next generation.
    Unfortunately, this video does not present the point of view that Millennials have of their own selves.
    It is worthwhile to making a succinct(brief) summary of the different types of generations that currently exist.
    The concerns and issues raised during each periods are constantly evolving.
    Moreover, it shows us how the world move fast.(temps + ordre des mots)
    To conclude, we are on the eve of several main changes, this video raises questions(? which ones?) about the next generation: “What will be the next generation?” word order.

    Hope it will help !




    Réponse: Correction/génération de slopezj, postée le 15-10-2014 à 01:44:17 (S | E)
    ahaha love your sens of humor =) thank you so much ! Julie.





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