Correction /Biographie

Correction /Biographie
Message de sunshine24 posté le 02-06-2014 à 19:25:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
j'ai une biographie à rendre pour demain et j'aimerais savoir si j'ai fait des fautes ?
Pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît ?

Voici ma biographie :
Perrie Edwards was born in South Shield on July 10, 1993.
Her parents are Alexander Edwards and Debbie Duffie. She has an older brother, Jonnie, and a half-sister, Caitlin.
She is an English singer in girl band "Little Mix", the first band to ever win on "The X-Factor".
Perrie auditioned as a solo artist on "The X-Factor" in 2011 with the song "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morisette.
But the judges of the show will decide to create a group consisting of Perrie, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson and Leigh-Anne Pinnock, which will be called "Little Mix".
The July 25, 2012, they released their first music video "Wings" which has been viewed more than 91,811,679 times.
Perrie is engaged to Zayn Malik (member of the group "One Direction").
With Zayn , she has a dog named Hachi and a cat called Prada.

J’espère que je n'ai pas trop de fautes :/
Merci pour votre temps.
Bonne soirée.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-06-2014 21:26

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Réponse: Correction /Biographie de sherry48, postée le 02-06-2014 à 21:56:13 (S | E)
Hello.

No, you don't have many mistakes.
Perrie Edwards was born in South Shield on July 10, 1993.
Her parents are Alexander Edwards and Debbie Duffie. She has an older brother, Jonnie, and a half-sister, Caitlin.
She is an English singer in __ girl band "Little Mix", the first band to ever win on "The X-Factor".
Perrie auditioned as a solo artist on "The X-Factor" in 2011 with the song "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morisette.
But the judges of the show will decide to create a group consisting of Perrie, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson and Leigh-Anne Pinnock, which will be called "Little Mix".
The July 25, 2012, they released their first music video "Wings" which has been viewed more than 91,811,679 times.
Perrie is engaged to Zayn Malik (member of the group "One Direction").
With Zayn , she has a dog named Hachi and a cat called Prada.

1. You could use an article here.
2. Generally, you don't start a sentence with but, particularly formal writing.
3. Will decide & will be called--these are not future events.
4. Use a preposition appropriate for a date.

Sherry

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