Correction/Idea of progress
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Message de goldrogerfr posté le 10-05-2014 à 13:50:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
étant un élève de terminale ES,je passe dans quelques jours(le 19 et le 20) mes épreuves orales de langues . Etant mauvais dans les deux langues,je souhaite particulièrement votre soutien pour me corriger s'il vous plaît.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici ma synthèse sur the Idea of progress
I'm going to talk about the idea of progress.To begin with, I'd like to state the definition of progress. The idea of progress basically consists in believing that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty, and quality of life. However, sometimes progress causes more problems than it solves. Consequently, we are going to weigh the positives and negatives aspects of progress in science, medicine and new technologies.
The progress presents only positifs aspects for the humanity?
First of all ,we analyse the period the most representative of the progress. Then,we treats the question on utility arms in United states .
The period the most representative of the progress is the sixties. For instance in music, some rock bands appears(and revolutionized the music like Beatles, The Who, The doors, and the rolling stone(pluriel Indeed the 60’was the symbol of youth and drugs. The young people were more numerous because of baby boom. They embodied a new generation, rebel and engaged. They stood for a powerful social and cultural force. Comes along with that cames, a more consumerism of drugs like marijuana or LSD by Hippies anti-establishmentarianism. To sum up they invented a counter culture, a culture with values and lifestyles that go against those of established society.However, there was not only the consumerism of drug witch increased, in the sixties it was the 30-year boom period, people spent all their money. We entered in a general consumer society with the development of electric and domestic appliances.The social progress have also caused a others consequently .
In the United States, there is a confrontation between those who are for the right to bear arms and those who are against.Many associations such as NRA or GOA are pro-weapon ownership and defend firearm ownership, sport shooting, hunting and self-defense training.These associations quote the second amendment to support their discourse because this law is part of Bill Of Right and the right to bear a gun is part of the American dream.For them, carry a gun provides security for citizens.These associations are powerful because they include million of members and even some presidents such as George Bush. Just the NRA has 4.3 million members.But a protest movement increases more and more because weapons are a lot of violence: armed robbery, gang fights and killings.
To conclude, I thing there is negatives and positives aspects of progress. But, problem is the way that we use and want for progress. It's dangerous if we don't use has good knowledge. We have possibility to do a better world, let us take advantage of it !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-05-2014 17:14
Message de goldrogerfr posté le 10-05-2014 à 13:50:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
étant un élève de terminale ES,je passe dans quelques jours(le 19 et le 20) mes épreuves orales de langues . Etant mauvais dans les deux langues,je souhaite particulièrement votre soutien pour me corriger s'il vous plaît.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici ma synthèse sur the Idea of progress
I'm going to talk about the idea of progress.To begin with, I'd like to state the definition of progress. The idea of progress basically consists in believing that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty, and quality of life. However, sometimes progress causes more problems than it solves. Consequently, we are going to weigh the positives and negatives aspects of progress in science, medicine and new technologies.
The progress presents only positifs aspects for the humanity?
First of all ,we analyse the period the most representative of the progress. Then,we treats the question on utility arms in United states .
The period the most representative of the progress is the sixties. For instance in music, some rock bands appears(and revolutionized the music like Beatles, The Who, The doors, and the rolling stone(pluriel Indeed the 60’was the symbol of youth and drugs. The young people were more numerous because of baby boom. They embodied a new generation, rebel and engaged. They stood for a powerful social and cultural force. Comes along with that cames, a more consumerism of drugs like marijuana or LSD by Hippies anti-establishmentarianism. To sum up they invented a counter culture, a culture with values and lifestyles that go against those of established society.However, there was not only the consumerism of drug witch increased, in the sixties it was the 30-year boom period, people spent all their money. We entered in a general consumer society with the development of electric and domestic appliances.The social progress have also caused a others consequently .
In the United States, there is a confrontation between those who are for the right to bear arms and those who are against.Many associations such as NRA or GOA are pro-weapon ownership and defend firearm ownership, sport shooting, hunting and self-defense training.These associations quote the second amendment to support their discourse because this law is part of Bill Of Right and the right to bear a gun is part of the American dream.For them, carry a gun provides security for citizens.These associations are powerful because they include million of members and even some presidents such as George Bush. Just the NRA has 4.3 million members.But a protest movement increases more and more because weapons are a lot of violence: armed robbery, gang fights and killings.
To conclude, I thing there is negatives and positives aspects of progress. But, problem is the way that we use and want for progress. It's dangerous if we don't use has good knowledge. We have possibility to do a better world, let us take advantage of it !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-05-2014 17:14
Réponse: Correction/Idea of progress de bluduck2, postée le 10-05-2014 à 14:36:50 (S | E)
Hello golgoderf,
Revoyez le verbe être et le verbe avoir;revoyez l'adjectif qualificatif (sans "s" et placé" avant le nom )
Vous parlez du progrès en général , notion abstraite, pas d'article . Mais si vous parlez du progrès réalisé au XXème siècle,il faut utiliser l'article défini.
Le deuxième paragraphe est confus et la conclusion doit aussi être relue ; écrivez des phrases simples ,que vous comprenez bien et que vous saurez restituer à l'oral .
Je n'ai pas le temps d'écrire davantage !
Hope this helps !
Bluduck2
Réponse: Correction/Idea of progress de goldrogerfr, postée le 10-05-2014 à 16:06:13 (S | E)
Alors là,ça risque d’être difficile pour moi de faire ces corrections
Réponse: Correction/Idea of progress de lucile83, postée le 10-05-2014 à 17:18:55 (S | E)
Hello,
Il va falloir vous y mettre car on ne vous donnera pas le corrigé tout prêt. On vous indique les fautes, c'est tout.
Réponse: Correction/Idea of progress de goldrogerfr, postée le 10-05-2014 à 18:04:50 (S | E)
Bon bah ... , i give up . Je pense que ça suffira
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