Correction /CV anglais
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Message de clement67 posté le 20-02-2014 à 21:10:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je souhaiterais faire corriger mon CV en anglais, si possible par un américain (le cv étant destiné à des entreprises américaines)
Merci de votre aide
Computer engineering student
Looking up for a challenging 6-month computing trainee starting on summer 2014 in order to gain some useful experience abroad.
PERSONAL PROFILE
My different experiences and my education gave to me a strong versatility and a large knowledge in computing sciences, both development and network & system. I suit easily in teams and I am committed in my work.
EDUCATION & QUALIFICATIONS
Engineering degree
2012 – present
Computing at University of Technology of xxx(xxx of France).
First degree
2011 – 2012
System, network and application based on open source software, xxx (xxx of France)
Two-years technical degree
2006 – 2008
Computing at xxx (xxx of France)
WORK EXPERIENCES
Urban community (xxx, France)
february 2013 – july 2013
Network & system assistant engineer
Improving the existing open-source monitoring solution
The objective was to integrate the whole information system (system and network equipments, applications and software) in the monitoring solution and create a real monitoring strategy that fits with needs and constraints of the administration.
BCS Technologies (xxx)
april 2012 – august 2012
Network & system administrator
Changing the monitoring software
Monitoring was the core-business of the company. The goal of the project was to select the best monitoring solution relatively to the company's environment and to implement it.
Metatron Ltd (xxx)
may 2010 – august 2011
Flash/web developer
Development of Flash applications (Actionscript), PHP & HTML/CSS
Took part to numerous various projects both as flash developer and web application developer. Most of the developed applications were commercial minisites and Facebook apps.
Pharmacy of xxx, (xxx, France)
april 2008 –june 2008
Web developer
Updating and improving an e-commerce website
The final goal was ton increase turnover of a pharmaceutical website by modifying it and improving its visibility by the search engines (search engine optimization).
SKILLS
Operating Systems
GNU/Linux (Debian, Ubuntu, Red Hat, CentOS, Android), Windows (XP, Vista, 7), Mac OS X
Programming
HTML/CSS, PHP, Javascript, SQL, Bash, Perl, C/C++, Java
Databases
Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, PostgreSQL
Languages
French (mother-tongue), English (fluent, BULATS: C2), Hebrew (fluent), German (moderate)
INTERESTS & ACTIVITIES
Sports
Running, swimming and cycling
Hobbies
Cinema, reading, travels, and new technologies
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-02-2014 23:07
Anonymat
Message de clement67 posté le 20-02-2014 à 21:10:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je souhaiterais faire corriger mon CV en anglais, si possible par un américain (le cv étant destiné à des entreprises américaines)
Merci de votre aide
Computer engineering student
Looking up for a challenging 6-month computing trainee starting on summer 2014 in order to gain some useful experience abroad.
PERSONAL PROFILE
My different experiences and my education gave to me a strong versatility and a large knowledge in computing sciences, both development and network & system. I suit easily in teams and I am committed in my work.
EDUCATION & QUALIFICATIONS
Engineering degree
2012 – present
Computing at University of Technology of xxx(xxx of France).
First degree
2011 – 2012
System, network and application based on open source software, xxx (xxx of France)
Two-years technical degree
2006 – 2008
Computing at xxx (xxx of France)
WORK EXPERIENCES
Urban community (xxx, France)
february 2013 – july 2013
Network & system assistant engineer
Improving the existing open-source monitoring solution
The objective was to integrate the whole information system (system and network equipments, applications and software) in the monitoring solution and create a real monitoring strategy that fits with needs and constraints of the administration.
BCS Technologies (xxx)
april 2012 – august 2012
Network & system administrator
Changing the monitoring software
Monitoring was the core-business of the company. The goal of the project was to select the best monitoring solution relatively to the company's environment and to implement it.
Metatron Ltd (xxx)
may 2010 – august 2011
Flash/web developer
Development of Flash applications (Actionscript), PHP & HTML/CSS
Took part to numerous various projects both as flash developer and web application developer. Most of the developed applications were commercial minisites and Facebook apps.
Pharmacy of xxx, (xxx, France)
april 2008 –june 2008
Web developer
Updating and improving an e-commerce website
The final goal was ton increase turnover of a pharmaceutical website by modifying it and improving its visibility by the search engines (search engine optimization).
SKILLS
Operating Systems
GNU/Linux (Debian, Ubuntu, Red Hat, CentOS, Android), Windows (XP, Vista, 7), Mac OS X
Programming
HTML/CSS, PHP, Javascript, SQL, Bash, Perl, C/C++, Java
Databases
Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, PostgreSQL
Languages
French (mother-tongue), English (fluent, BULATS: C2), Hebrew (fluent), German (moderate)
INTERESTS & ACTIVITIES
Sports
Running, swimming and cycling
Hobbies
Cinema, reading, travels, and new technologies
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-02-2014 23:07
Anonymat
Réponse: Correction /CV anglais de here4u, postée le 20-02-2014 à 21:48:36 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Pour avoir "aidé" mon fils à l'élaboration de son CV américain, je peux vous dire qu'il doit être très spécifique ... Je ne peux, bien sûr pas publier ce CV, mais il existe de nombreux sites qui proposent des modèles et expliquent ce qu'il faut dire, ne pas dire, ce sur quoi il faut insister, etc ...La présentation est très différente des CVs européens ...
D'autre part, demander an 'internship' ou 'a training period' pour cet été en février me semble vraiment très tardif ... Pour nous, tout avait été fait avant Noël, mais il y avait une Convention avec sa Grde Ecole et il avait un diplôme américain...
Plongez-vous vite dans ces sites. Il y a des exigences de longueur, de clarté (tableaux).
Vite ! Bon courage ...
here4u
Réponse: Correction /CV anglais de clement67, postée le 20-02-2014 à 23:07:11 (S | E)
Merci here4U pour votre réponse
Toutefois, ma demande portait plus sur les fautes d'anglais (orthographe, grammaire, etc...)
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-02-2014 23:10
Réponse: Correction /CV anglais de here4u, postée le 21-02-2014 à 11:43:53 (S | E)
= indicates a mistakeblue is wrong
green is a correction. I hope it will help, but DO hurry up !Good luck !
Computer engineering student
Looking
on summer 2014 in order to gain some useful experience abroad.PERSONAL PROFILE
My different experiences and my education gave to me a strong versatility and a large knowledge in computing sciences, both
development and network & system. I suit easily in teams and I am committed in my work.EDUCATION & QUALIFICATIONS
Engineering degree
2012 – present
Computing at University of Technology of xxx(xxx of France).
First degree
2011 – 2012
System, network and application based on open source software, xxx (xxx of France)
Two-years technical degree
2006 – 2008
Computing at xxx (xxx of France)
WORK EXPERIENCES
Urban community (xxx, France)
february 2013 – july 2013
Network & system assistant engineer
Improving the existing open-source monitoring solution
The objective was to integrate the whole information system (system and network equipments, applications and software) in the monitoring solution and create a real monitoring strategy that fits with needs and constraints of the administration.
BCS Technologies (xxx)
april 2012 – august 2012
Network & system administrator
Changing the monitoring software
Monitoring was the core-business of the company. The goal of the project was to select the best monitoring solution relatively to the company's environment and to implement it.
Metatron Ltd (xxx)
may 2010 – august 2011
Flash/web developer
Development of Flash applications (Actionscript), PHP & HTML/CSS
Took part
to numerous various projects both as flash developer and web application developer. Most of the developed applications were commercial minisites and Facebook apps.Pharmacy of xxx, (xxx, France)
april 2008 –june 2008
Web developer
Updating and improving an e-commerce website
The final goal was ton increase the turnover of a pharmaceutical website by modifying it and improving its visibility by the search engines (search engine optimization).
SKILLS
Operating Systems
GNU/Linux (Debian, Ubuntu, Red Hat, CentOS, Android), Windows (XP, Vista, 7), Mac OS X
Programming
HTML/CSS, PHP, Javascript, SQL, Bash, Perl, C/C++, Java
Databases
Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, PostgreSQL
Languages
French (mother-tongue), English (fluent, BULATS: C2), Hebrew (fluent), German (moderate)intermediate ?
INTERESTS & ACTIVITIES
Sports : Running, swimming and cycling
Hobbies :Cinema, reading, travels, and new technologies
Réponse: Correction /CV anglais de clement67, postée le 21-02-2014 à 20:58:49 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup
Réponse: Correction /CV anglais de here4u, postée le 22-02-2014 à 09:11:05 (S | E)
You're most welcome !
Réponse: Correction /CV anglais de sherry48, postée le 22-02-2014 à 14:09:31 (S | E)
Hello. You might consider a few more suggestions in addition to the areas already indicated.
Computer engineering student
Looking
PERSONAL PROFILE
)
My various experiences and my education/(or My education and variety of...) gave to present perfect me a strong versatility and a large knowledge in/of computing sciences, both development and network & system.(or , development as well as...) I suit easily in teams I work well as part of a team and I am committed in/to my work.
EDUCATION & QUALIFICATIONS
Two-years technical degree
WORK EXPERIENCES
The objective was to integrate the whole information system (system and network equipments, applications and software) in the monitoring solution and create a real monitoring strategy that fits the needs and constraints of the administration.
The goal of the project was to select the best monitoring solution relatively to the company's environment and to implement it.
Took part to
numerous various (maybe just one of these)projects both as flash developer and web application developer. Good luck!
Sherry
Réponse: Correction /CV anglais de clement67, postée le 22-02-2014 à 19:57:39 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide
Si jamais quelqu'un est motivé, il me reste la "cover letter" à corriger
XYZ Internship (Job ID 99999)
Dear Sir/Madam
I am currently student in last year at University of Technology of XXX (XXX, northeast of France) and I am looking for a 24-week internship which will start in summer 2014 (the begin date is flexible; the internship can begin from July 15 to September 15)
Backed by the skills I got during my formation and completed by my work experience, in development as well as in network & system administration, my expertise in computing is rather wide in various fields of computing from development at several levels (web development, system programming, C, C++, Java) to administration of databases, systems and networks. The training I'm currently following provide us with broad concept useful for an engineer and give us the base to learn quickly and independently. Combined with my experience, it has given to me an ability to adapt fast and easily. The enclosed resume will give you a more accurate overview of my professional path and my skills.
I am looking first of all for a challenging internship where I will be able to learn deeply one or several technologies. Cyber Security has always been a field in which I want to improve my knowledge. Working with a team will allow me to progress and to be updated in a field that is in constant evolution and become more and more essential. Thank you for believing in my commitment and my motivation in all the tasks you could assign to me.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely yours,
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