[Oz] /Correction CV

[Oz] /Correction CV
Message de swellbastard posté le 03-01-2014 à 11:53:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai comme projet de partir en Australie quelque temps; je me suis donc lancé dans la création d'un CV, je n'ai hélas trouvé personne dans mon entourage pour me corriger et je n'ai pas du tout confiance en ce que j'ai écrit ! Ne sachant pas formuler certaines phrases j'ai d'ailleurs pas mal utilisé google .
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mon CV ?


XXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
France
Tel : XXXXXXXX
Email: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Career Objective: In a quest of a challenging job opportunity as an Electrical technician, where I can explore my skill-sets, and bring them to effective use in an English environment.
Career Summary: Qualified technician in electrical engineering and automation. Have experience in industrial maintenance, wiring and plan reading.

Work Experience:

Temporary worker (February 2012 – till date)

• XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
• Job responsibilities :
o Working with an allotted time respecting the rules of safety and quality.
o Mount and wire the control part of low voltage cells.
o Receive and control the components needed for assembly and wiring the cells.
o Mounting a circuit breaker using the mechanical plan.

Trainee technician (January – July 2011)
• XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
• Job responsibilities as maintenance technician’s :
o Realize preventive and corrective maintenance on a production line.
o Making settings for food machinery in cooperation with executives workers.
o Implementation and programming of a touch screen instead of an old control box.

Trainee executive (June – July 2010)
• XXXXXXXXXXXX
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
• Job responsibilities:
o Perform the maintenance of the cooling system, turbine, and valve within a team.

Academic Qualifications:
• XXXXXXXXXXXXX:
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
o Higher national certificate (HNC) (2011)
o High School Certificate (HSC) (2009)

Professional Skills:

• Comprehensive knowledge of electrical and mechanical issues.
• Knowledge of control system: PLC programming (Schneider (PL7 Pro), Crouzet (Millenium II and III)).
• Certified electrical engineering technician
• Meticulous work

References:
• XXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Maintenance manager)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
France
XXXXXXXXXXXX


Declaration: I, XXXXXXXXXXXX, declare that all the details furnished above by me are true to the best of my knowledge and belief.
Place: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


(Les X correspondent aux données personnelles )
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-01-2014 18:52

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Réponse: [Oz] /Correction CV de carr30, postée le 03-01-2014 à 16:30:01 (S | E)
G'day mate!

Very good, main problem is "executives workers" they are opposite job grades. I don't know what you mean.
Good luck 'down under'

XXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
France
Tel : XXXXXXXX
Email: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Career Objective: In a quest of (or 'Looking for') a challenging job opportunity as an Electrical technician, where I can explore my skill-sets, and bring them to effective use in an English speaking(do NOT tell Australians they are English!) environment.
Career Summary: Qualified technician in electrical engineering and automation. Have experience in industrial maintenance, wiring and plan reading.

Work Experience:

Temporary worker (February 2012 – till date)

• XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
• Job responsibilities :
o Working with an allotted time respecting the rules of safety and quality.
o Mount and wire the control part of low voltage cells.
o Receive and control the components needed for assembly and wiring the cells.
o Mounting a circuit breaker using the mechanical plan.

Trainee technician (January – July 2011)
• XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
• Job responsibilities as maintenance technician’s :
o Realize preventive and corrective maintenance on a production line.
o Making settings for food machinery in cooperation with executives workers??? production managers?.
o Implementation and programming of a touch screen instead of an old control box.

Trainee executive (June – July 2010)
• XXXXXXXXXXXX
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
• Job responsibilities:
o Perform the maintenance of the cooling system, turbine, and valve within a team.

Academic Qualifications:
• XXXXXXXXXXXXX:
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)
o Higher national certificate (HNC) (2011)
o High School Certificate (HSC) (2009)

Professional Skills:

• Comprehensive knowledge of electrical and mechanical issues.
• Knowledge of control system: PLC programming (Schneider (PL7 Pro), Crouzet (Millenium II and III)).
• Certified electrical engineering technician
• Meticulous work

References:
• XXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Maintenance manager)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
France
XXXXXXXXXXXX

Declaration: I, XXXXXXXXXXXX, declare that all the details furnished above by me are true to the best of my knowledge and belief.
Place: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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Réponse: [Oz] /Correction CV de swellbastard, postée le 03-01-2014 à 18:44:05 (S | E)
Bonsoir carr30,

Par "executives workers" je faisais référence aux ouvriers travaillant sur la ligne de production.
Thank you very much for your help, all my best wishes for this new year !

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Réponse: [Oz] /Correction CV de carr30, postée le 03-01-2014 à 19:20:41 (S | E)
Hi

"ouvriers travaillant sur la ligne de production " are simply "production line workers" or more politely "the production line team".

Best wishes for 2014 to you too!

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