Correction /lettre motivation
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Message de mag35 posté le 21-11-2013 à 01:33:27 (S | E | F)
Hi everyone!
Je dois écrire une lettre de motivation afin de postuler pour un job dans la capitale anglaise. Quelques fautes m'ont sûrement échappé. Si l'un d'entre vous pouvait jeter un coup d'oeil, ce serait génial!
Merci par avance de votre aide!
Good afternoon Mrs XXXX
I am writing to express my strong interest in the XXXXXX position at XXXXX as advertised on your website. I view the position as an excellent opportunity to learn and grow, and I would welcome the challenge to contribute to XXXXg growth as a member of yourXXXXXstaff.
Indeed, my career objective is to obtain a challenging, growth-oriented position with a dynamic company that best utilizes my education, experience, and abilities.
Moreover, I am very engaged in energy-related policy issues such as global climate change and sustainable development, which are no doubt key strategic issues for an energy provider like XXXX. This interest has brought me to one conference called The Economics of Energy Markets in Toulouse in 2011. I desire to work in a company I am proud of and involved in.
I believe that my background and experience would enable me to make a positive contribution to a full-time career position with XXXXXXX responsibilities. For the past three years I have worked as an Account Executive, consequently I was the interface between our clients, suppliers and the company. I learnt how to work on hand to oversee projects, and ensure their smooth progression so that clients are kept informed and satisfied at every stage of the process.
Moreover, my experience has brought a multitude of skills, including a proven ability to meet tight deadlines, to coordinate multiple projects and to work independently in a fast-paced office.
Moreover, my education and experience have enabled me to manage relevant projects efficiently with minimum or no supervision. For instance, XXXXXXX gave me the opportunity to work as a team player while also contributing individually to help bring projects to life.
For all these reasons, my background and experience would enable me to make a positive contribution to a full-time career position withXXXXXXXX responsibilities. Please find attached my profile and resume for your reference. I would appreciate an opportunity to discuss the mutually beneficial possibilities of employment with XXXXX in a personal interview.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
XXXXX
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-11-2013 08:21
Message de mag35 posté le 21-11-2013 à 01:33:27 (S | E | F)
Hi everyone!
Je dois écrire une lettre de motivation afin de postuler pour un job dans la capitale anglaise. Quelques fautes m'ont sûrement échappé. Si l'un d'entre vous pouvait jeter un coup d'oeil, ce serait génial!
Merci par avance de votre aide!
Good afternoon Mrs XXXX
I am writing to express my strong interest in the XXXXXX position at XXXXX as advertised on your website. I view the position as an excellent opportunity to learn and grow, and I would welcome the challenge to contribute to XXXXg growth as a member of yourXXXXXstaff.
Indeed, my career objective is to obtain a challenging, growth-oriented position with a dynamic company that best utilizes my education, experience, and abilities.
Moreover, I am very engaged in energy-related policy issues such as global climate change and sustainable development, which are no doubt key strategic issues for an energy provider like XXXX. This interest has brought me to one conference called The Economics of Energy Markets in Toulouse in 2011. I desire to work in a company I am proud of and involved in.
I believe that my background and experience would enable me to make a positive contribution to a full-time career position with XXXXXXX responsibilities. For the past three years I have worked as an Account Executive, consequently I was the interface between our clients, suppliers and the company. I learnt how to work on hand to oversee projects, and ensure their smooth progression so that clients are kept informed and satisfied at every stage of the process.
Moreover, my experience has brought a multitude of skills, including a proven ability to meet tight deadlines, to coordinate multiple projects and to work independently in a fast-paced office.
Moreover, my education and experience have enabled me to manage relevant projects efficiently with minimum or no supervision. For instance, XXXXXXX gave me the opportunity to work as a team player while also contributing individually to help bring projects to life.
For all these reasons, my background and experience would enable me to make a positive contribution to a full-time career position withXXXXXXXX responsibilities. Please find attached my profile and resume for your reference. I would appreciate an opportunity to discuss the mutually beneficial possibilities of employment with XXXXX in a personal interview.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
XXXXX
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-11-2013 08:21
Réponse: Correction /lettre motivation de bluestar, postée le 21-11-2013 à 20:38:21 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Good letter, well written. Just two points: don't start with 'Good afternoon Mrs. etc'. That is a conversational greeting - it may be morning when she is reading it! Stick with the traditional 'Dear Mrs...'
Also: "I desire to work.." is a bit pompous. Just say "I want to work..."
Réponse: Correction /lettre motivation de mag35, postée le 22-11-2013 à 15:50:32 (S | E)
Thank you very much for this piece of advice
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