Entrainement/expression écrite

Entrainement/expression écrite
Message de gadocartoon posté le 08-08-2013 à 11:19:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,

Je m’entraîne beaucoup à faire des expressions écrites afin de m'améliorer pour mon prochain examen d'anglais. C'est pourquoi j'aimerais avoir votre aide afin de voir où sont mes lacunes et y remédier.
Le texte écrit concerne un client qui a une dette impayée envers sa banque et je lui écrit une lettre en tant qu'employé de cette banque.

Dear Mr Becker,

I regret to inform you that we didn't receive any payments from you. It was the second time that you told ous you will pay off your debt at the end of the month. That way, the next bill will be increased by 5% because of the overheads and the delay of payment. Moreover, you must pay the remainder before 30 days. If you don't (or you won't?), a court action will be taken. That's why I am asking you to settle your debt as soon as possible.
You can find a certified copie of the invoice hereunder.

Sincerely yours,
Gado

Merci d'avance à tous,
I wish you a good day !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-08-2013 11:38

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Réponse: Entrainement/expression écrite de lucile83, postée le 09-08-2013 à 16:10:57 (S | E)
Hello,

Errors in blue:

I regret to inform you that we didn't receive any payments from you. It was the second time that you told ous you will pay off your debt at the end of the month. That way, the next bill will be increased by 5% because of the overheads and the delay of payment. Moreover, you must pay the remainder before 30 days. If you don't (or you won't?), a court action will be taken. That's why I am asking you to settle your debt as soon as possible.
You can find a certified copie of the invoice hereunder.

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Réponse: Entrainement/expression écrite de notrepere, postée le 10-08-2013 à 03:44:31 (S | E)
Hello

Corrections supplémentaires...

I regret to inform you that we didn't receive (1) any payments from you. It was the second time that you told ous you will(2) pay off your debt at(3) the end of the month. That way (4), the next bill will be increased (1) increased by 5% because of the overheads and the delay of payment. Moreover, you must pay the remainder before 30 days. If you don't, a court action will be taken. That's why I am asking you to settle your debt as soon as possible.
You can find a certified copie of the invoice hereunder.

(1) OK, but the present perfect would be better
(2) would vaut mieux
(3) by?
(4) Consequently?

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Réponse: Entrainement/expression écrite de gadocartoon, postée le 17-08-2013 à 14:08:52 (S | E)
Merci énormément pour les corrections. J'en prends bonne note ! J'ai un peu de mal avec l'utilisation du present perfect, mais je vais redoubler d'efforts.
Merci encore

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