Correction/ Cover Letter

Correction/ Cover Letter
Message from alexd42 posted on 05-08-2013 at 19:47:40 (D | E | F)
Hello every one,

I'm writing a cover letter for a job application in Brussels and I wonder if someone could help me with it. Is it possible to correct the ortographe spelling and the syntaxe of the following sentences.
Thanks a lot for your help.

Object: Application “DEVELOPMENT QUALITY ENGINEER
05/07/2013,
Dear Sir or Madam,

Recently graduated from the « Ecole Nationale Supérieure de Chimie de Lille », an engineer school, a first job as an engineer would provides an opportunity to use my professional skills in the area of the quality, the industrial process and the production.

The company AGC Glass specialised in the production of float glass for several markets, such as automotive or the solar markets, interested me from two angles. First of all, glass industries attract me from its making process to the shaping stage due to the very specific properties of glass. Moreover, AGC Glass, which is located all over the world, would enable me a career progression worldwide which is a true asset nowadays.

During my studies, I have got into the habit of keeping a scrupulous organization to allow me to continue the sport in competition. After my two internships in a German laboratory, I developed a team spirit while working in a group of researcher. I also have good knowledge in the materials area (metallurgy, glass, polymer…etc.). Moreover, my work experience in the industry (quality, process and production) in Ascometal and Eramet enable me to reinforce my independence and my motivation to work in this kind of company.

I look forward to speaking with you about this employment opportunity. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Yours faithfully

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Edited by lucile83 on 05-08-2013 20:16

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Re: Correction/ Cover Letter from violet91, posted on 06-08-2013 at 13:59:08 (D | E)
Hello alexd42 ,

This is my second try to post some pieces of advice ; I don't understand where the first lot has gone . Oh ! Yes , I know now ...I wrote most of it in French .

I was saying then your cover letter is quite well expressed .
Just a few things to correct actually : spelling , absent- mindedness ,ways of saying ...

1 ) Conditional would + infinitive form without 'to ' : it would provide
2 ) You don't need to define abstract words and generalities with an article : quality / industrial process / competition sport / industry ...
3 ) The company you are speaking of is named : so let it be called AGC Glass company just like BBC television .
4 ) When your sentence begins wih a singular noun ( as a subject ) ( you must have forgotten about it affer adding a long extension ? ) : my experience enables me.

Remarks :

a ) To express you are well organised and able to ally both work and sports activities , with a determined scheme , you' d better use a valorising expression : I ´ve got into the habit of ...means more : doing something you don't control , like an involuntary twitch .

I have planned my days allying both my work and the sport I practice on this or fhat sport on a competition level ( scale) . / I have organised ( spelling ) my time table in order to ally both work and sports activities . Actually , I practice ( judo? rugby ?swimming ? horse riding ? cycling ...whatever you do ) and take part in national competitions .

b ) Using authoritative imperatives is rare in English , especially in a letter . You can make it softer and more polite with adding ' will you ? ' - Don't hesitate to contact me , will you , if you need ... ( keep imperative forms for cases of emergency, when you have no time to waste and slow down the situation )
- Will you please not hesitate to get in touch with me if you need any further information ? is another way of saying .

Have I answered your doubts ?

That is what I can think of to help you , I hope .Good luck !

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