Help/ article smartphones
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Message from sakshiarjun15 posted on 03-08-2013 at 15:35:55 (D | E | F)
Hello ,
could someone please check my writing? it's an article and the level is FCE (B2).
The world in your hands
Do you think that having the information you need handy? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
In the first place, smartphones are very important beacause if we get stuck or we get lost, we're able to contact someone and come out of the crisis.Secondly, nowadays life is very fast and it's a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly in the smartphones.
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices have made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several ocations, for example in emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
Thanks a lot in advance.
Have a nice day.
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Edited by lucile83 on 03-08-2013 18:21
Message from sakshiarjun15 posted on 03-08-2013 at 15:35:55 (D | E | F)
Hello ,
could someone please check my writing? it's an article and the level is FCE (B2).
The world in your hands
Do you think that having the information you need handy? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
In the first place, smartphones are very important beacause if we get stuck or we get lost, we're able to contact someone and come out of the crisis.Secondly, nowadays life is very fast and it's a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly in the smartphones.
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices have made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several ocations, for example in emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
Thanks a lot in advance.
Have a nice day.
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 03-08-2013 18:21
Re: Help/ article smartphones from violet91, posted on 03-08-2013 at 23:08:20 (D | E)
Hello ,
There is no mistake in this text apart from the spelling of - occasions ...which has become something unknown to me and English !
Good night .
Re: Help/ article smartphones from nick, posted on 03-08-2013 at 23:20:23 (D | E)
Hello,
I'm afraid there is another one left: because
Bye bye
Nick
Re: Help/ article smartphones from lucile83, posted on 04-08-2013 at 08:03:25 (D | E)
Hello,
Errors in blue
Do you think that having the information you need handy? (what do you mean?sorry but I don't understand; this sentence sounds awkward.) Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
In the first place, smartphones are very important beacause if we get stuck or we get lost, we're able to contact someone and come out of the crisis.Secondly, nowadays life is very fast and it's a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly in the smartphones.
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices have made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several ocations, for example in emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
- it is useless to repeat 'we'
- we're should be we are when you write an article (no contracted forms) + it's
- crisis is too strong, find another word
- in the first place...secondly.. why not say: firstly...secondly, it would be more logical
- life can't 'be' fast, find another verb
- having ...is the subject and is singular
- in emergency...find another preposition
Re: Help/ article smartphones from sakshiarjun15, posted on 04-08-2013 at 13:10:47 (D | E)
Thanks everybody , you've helped me a lot , have a nice day.
Re: Help/ article smartphones from lucile83, posted on 04-08-2013 at 16:34:07 (D | E)
Hello sakshiarjun15,
It would be highly appreciated if you showed us your text once you have corrected it.
Thank you.
Re: Help/ article smartphones from sakshiarjun15, posted on 06-08-2013 at 15:46:21 (D | E)
The world in your hands
Do you think that having the information you need handy? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.In the first place, smartphones are very important beacause if we get stuck or we get lost, we're able to contact someone and come out of the crisis.
Secondly, nowadays life is very fast and it's a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly in the smartphones.If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance listening to music , doing project works , etc.
Personally, having one of these devices have made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several occasions, for example in emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
I have corrected the spelling and thank you so so so very much for everybody who has helped me ,
Have a great day
Re: Help/ article smartphones from jonquille, posted on 06-08-2013 at 15:55:12 (D | E)
Hello!
Unfortunately, apart from the word "occasions"...I don't see any changes between this text and the original one! Are you SURE you have corrected everything?
Enjoy the week,
jonquille
Re: Help/ article smartphones from lucile83, posted on 06-08-2013 at 16:00:45 (D | E)
Well, I am not sure I will correct any of your texts in the future
Re: Help/ article smartphones from sakshiarjun15, posted on 06-08-2013 at 21:36:28 (D | E)
Hello
Are your hands glued with your smartphone ? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
Firstly, smartphones are very important if we get stuck or get lost, we are able to contact someone and come out of the crisis.Secondly, nowadays life is very stressful and it is a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly in the smartphones.work or business work directly in the smartphones.
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several occasions, for example in an emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
Sorry Lucile83 ,I couldn't read it well because It was showing me all your corrections in some weird
Have a nice day.
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Edited by sakshiarjun15 on 06-08-2013 21:37
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Edited by lucile83 on 06-08-2013 21:45
Re: Help/ article smartphones from lucile83, posted on 06-08-2013 at 22:01:55 (D | E)
Hello
Oh well, there were some bugs on the forum but they have been fixed.
One or two things in blue; corrections in green.
Your text is much better!
Are your hands glued with your smartphone ? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
Firstly, smartphones are very important if we get stuck or get lost, we are able to contact someone and come out of the crisisI'd say trouble. Secondly, nowadays life is very stressful and it is a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly inI'd say from the smartphones.
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance while listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several occasions, for example in an emergency in a case of emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
Re: Help/ article smartphones from sakshiarjun15, posted on 07-08-2013 at 09:41:42 (D | E)
Are your hands glued with your smartphone ? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
Firstly, smartphones are very important if we get stuck or get lost, we are able to contact someone and come out of the trouble. Secondly, nowadays life is very stressful and it is a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly from the smartphones.
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance while listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several occasions, for example in a case of emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
Hello , here is the text with all the corrections, thank very much to all who helped me,
have a nice week.
Re: Help/ article smartphones from lucile83, posted on 07-08-2013 at 10:55:09 (D | E)
Hello,
That's fine now! just one thing to modify. Good job!
Are your hands glued with your smartphone ? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
Firstly, smartphones are very important if we get stuck or get lost, we are able to contact someone and come out of
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance while listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several occasions, for example in a case of emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
Re: Help/ article smartphones from sakshiarjun15, posted on 08-08-2013 at 12:20:10 (D | E)
Hello , this is my final text :
Are your hands glued with your smartphone ? Are you one of those people who can't live without their smartphones? To my mind smartphones are essential in our daily lives.
Firstly, smartphones are very important if we get stuck or get lost, we are able to contact someone and come out of trouble. Secondly, nowadays life is very stressful and it is a wonderful idea to do your school work or business work directly from the smartphones.
If you ask me, I use my smartphone in a lot of different situations, for instance while listening to music , doing project works , etc. Personally, having one of these devices made a huge change in my way of working and my lifestyle.
To sum up, smartphones can be used in several occasions, for example in a case of emergency, at work, for your school work or simply for entertainment.
Thank you everybody who has helped me once again.
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