Lettre motivation/correction
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Message de jay89 posté le 27-11-2012 à 23:53:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je souhaiterais envoyer une lettre de motivation à une entreprise. Celle-ci doit être rédigée en anglais.
J'aurais donc besoin de vous afin de corriger les erreurs, les formulations, afin de pouvoir valider tout ça.
Merci pour votre aide.
Object: Application for a post of scientific communications manager
Dear Sir or Madame,
You are looking for someone to represent the scientific editorial? Someone acting as a go-between between customers, media and the group able to answer scientific questions ? You need a qualified collaborator, with editorial creativity, having initiative and a sense of responsabilities?
Passionate about sciences since ever, I like to pass and popularize informations, and I wish to pursue in this way. That is why I am applying for the post of Scientific Communications manager.
Holder of a biochemistry and nutrition diploma, I have a scientific knowledge needed for the understanding of problems I could be confronted to. I am broken notably in scientific journals.
Furthermore, during my Master’s degree in Marketing at Polytech’Lille, I have been trained in marketing plan, communication and public relations. During a training period in marketing, I was responsible for the writing of charter for nutrition and health to sign to the State. I also had to develop and implement communications strategies.
These positives experiences allowed me to brace my communication skills and gave me the necessary self confidence to achieve my future missions.
I am very organized and a self-motivated worker, but I also enjoy working as a team player. I have excellent ability to think globally, as I did during my different projects.
I really look forward to meet you in the near future.
I express you my heartiest gratitude for considering me for this job.
Sincerely.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-11-2012 06:26
Message de jay89 posté le 27-11-2012 à 23:53:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je souhaiterais envoyer une lettre de motivation à une entreprise. Celle-ci doit être rédigée en anglais.
J'aurais donc besoin de vous afin de corriger les erreurs, les formulations, afin de pouvoir valider tout ça.
Merci pour votre aide.
Object: Application for a post of scientific communications manager
Dear Sir or Madame,
You are looking for someone to represent the scientific editorial? Someone acting as a go-between between customers, media and the group able to answer scientific questions ? You need a qualified collaborator, with editorial creativity, having initiative and a sense of responsabilities?
Passionate about sciences since ever, I like to pass and popularize informations, and I wish to pursue in this way. That is why I am applying for the post of Scientific Communications manager.
Holder of a biochemistry and nutrition diploma, I have a scientific knowledge needed for the understanding of problems I could be confronted to. I am broken notably in scientific journals.
Furthermore, during my Master’s degree in Marketing at Polytech’Lille, I have been trained in marketing plan, communication and public relations. During a training period in marketing, I was responsible for the writing of charter for nutrition and health to sign to the State. I also had to develop and implement communications strategies.
These positives experiences allowed me to brace my communication skills and gave me the necessary self confidence to achieve my future missions.
I am very organized and a self-motivated worker, but I also enjoy working as a team player. I have excellent ability to think globally, as I did during my different projects.
I really look forward to meet you in the near future.
I express you my heartiest gratitude for considering me for this job.
Sincerely.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-11-2012 06:26
Réponse: Lettre motivation/correction de bernard02, postée le 28-11-2012 à 02:45:14 (S | E)
Bonjour,
vu l'heure, je n'ai fait qu'un survol rapide de votre texte. Néanmoins, j'ai déjà repéré quelques points à revoir (je vous les mets en bleu ci-dessous).
Mais ne vous inquiétez-pas, les experts (car je n'en suis pas un) ne devraient pas tarder à s'occuper de votre texte et à vous signaler d'autres fautes éventuelles !
Bon courage.
Object: Application for a post of scientific communications manager
Dear Sir or Madame,
You are looking for someone to represent the scientific editorial? Someone acting as a go-between between customers, media and the group able to answer scientific questions ? You need a qualified collaborator, with editorial creativity, having initiative and a sense of responsabilities (il y a une lettre à changer)?
Passionate about sciences since ever, I like to pass and popularize (si vous vous adressez à un employeur s'exprimant en anglais britannique, il y a une lettre à changer) informations, and I wish to pursue in this way. That is why I am applying for the post of Scientific Communications manager.
Holder of a biochemistry and nutrition diploma, I have a scientific knowledge needed for the understanding of problems I could be confronted to. I am broken (cette expression ne va pas) notably in scientific journals.
Furthermore, during my Master’s degree in Marketing at Polytech’Lille, I have been trained in marketing plan, communication and public relations. During a training period (si vous voulez dire "stage", il y a une autre expression, voire deux: une pour le stage d'un étudiant en entreprise, une autre pour un stage interne en entreprise) in marketing, I was responsible for the writing of charter for nutrition and health to sign to the State. I also had to develop and implement communications strategies.
These positives experiences allowed me to brace my communication skills and gave me the necessary self confidence to achieve my future missions.
I am very organized (si vous vous adressez à un employeur s'exprimant en anglais britannique, il y a une lettre à changer) and a self-motivated worker, but I also enjoy working as a team player. I have excellent ability to think globally, as I did during my different projects.
I really look forward to meet (erreur de temps) you in the near future.
I express you my heartiest gratitude for considering me for this job.
Sincerely.
Réponse: Lettre motivation/correction de jay89, postée le 28-11-2012 à 11:35:25 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ces premières corrections.
Réponse: Lettre motivation/correction de yannloic, postée le 28-11-2012 à 11:55:34 (S | E)
Je reprends la correction debernard02 pour ajouter quelques corrections
Object: Application for a post of scientific communications manager
Dear Sir or Madame,
You are looking for someone to represent the scientific editorial? Someone acting as a go-between between customers, media and the group able to answer scientific questions ? You need a qualified collaborator, with editorial creativity, having initiative and a sense of responsabilities (il y a une lettre à changer)?
Passionate about sciences since ever, I like to pass and popularize (si vous vous adressez à un employeur s'exprimant en anglais britannique, il y a une lettre à changer) informations, and I wish to pursue in this way. That is why I am applying for the post of Scientific Communications manager.
Holder of a biochemistry and nutrition diploma, I have
Furthermore, during my Master’s degree in Marketing at Polytech’Lille, I have been trained in marketing plan, communication and public relations. During a training period (si vous voulez dire "stage", il y a une autre expression, voire deux: une pour le stage d'un étudiant en entreprise, une autre pour un stage interne en entreprise) in marketing, I was responsible for the writing of charter for nutrition and health to sign to the State. I also had to develop and implement communications strategies.
These positives experiences allowed me to brace my communication skills and gave me the necessary self confidence to achieve my future missions.
I am very organized (si vous vous adressez à un employeur s'exprimant en anglais britannique, il y a une lettre à changer) and a self-motivated worker, but I also enjoy working as a team player. I have excellent ability to think globally, as I did during my different projects.
I really look forward to meet (erreur de temps) you in the near future.
I express you my heartiest gratitude for considering me for this job.
Sincerely.
Réponse: Lettre motivation/correction de jay89, postée le 28-11-2012 à 12:05:22 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ces précisions
Réponse: Lettre motivation/correction de bluestar, postée le 28-11-2012 à 17:01:40 (S | E)
Bonjour...
Dear Sir or Madame,
You are looking for someone to represent the scientific editorial? Someone acting as a go-between between customers, media and the group able to answer scientific questions ? You need a qualified collaborator, with editorial creativity, having initiative and a sense of responsabilities (il y a une lettre à changer)?
I have always been pPassionate about sciences since ever, I like to pass and popularize (si vous vous adressez à un employeur s'exprimant en anglais britannique, il y a une lettre à changer) informations, and I wish to pursue ('continue' serait mieux) in this way. That is why I am applying for the post of Scientific Communications Mmanager.
I hold Holder of a biochemistry and nutrition diploma, and I have a the scientific knowledge needed for the understanding of problems I could be confronted to (prep.?). I am broken I have acquired a wide experience of the matter(C'est comme cela que je tenterai de traduire rompu) notably in scientific journals.(Je ne sais pas où "rompu" s'inscrit dans cette phrase)
Furthermore, during my Master’s degree in Marketing at Polytech’Lille, I have been (temps?) trained in marketing plan, communications and public relations. During a training period (si vous voulez dire "stage", il y a une autre expression, voire deux: une pour le stage d'un étudiant en entreprise, une autre pour un stage interne en entreprise) in marketing, I was responsible for the writing of the charter for nutrition and health to sign to the State
. I also had to develop and implement communications strategies.These positives experiences allowed me to brace
(develop?) my communication skills and gave me the necessary self-confidence to achieve my future missions.I am very organized (si vous vous adressez à un employeur s'exprimant en anglais britannique, il y a une lettre à changer) and a self-motivated worker, but I also enjoy working as a team player. I have excellent ability to think globally, as I did during my different projects.
I really look forward to meet (erreur de temps) you in the near future.
I express you my heartiest gratitude ('thanks' serait assez) for considering me for this job.
Réponse: Lettre motivation/correction de jay89, postée le 28-11-2012 à 17:44:04 (S | E)
Super!! Merci beaucoup
!! il n'y a plus qu'à croiser les doigts pour que ma candidature soit retenue...Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons
