Essay/Correction

Essay/Correction
Message from dlsur posted on 05-08-2012 at 21:17:35 (D | E | F)
Hello everyone,

I have written another essay and I would appreciate if you could check it, but I have a doubt.
I do not know if I use enough linking words when I have to write an essay.
Thanks for your answers.

Should the car industry be forced to use biodiesel?

Is there a true alternative to use fossil fuel ? . The answer is yes, there is an alternative and this is the biodiesel and nowadays , the cars industry has to be focus in this new fuel.
In the first place there are differents reason to force to the car industry to use biodiesel , firstly the fossil fuel is everyday much more expensive , secondly we know that this resource is not endless, therefore , the fuel industry has to prospect for new olfields and usually this new oilfilds are in places like the Antartic or places with a special protection. So we have to stop or at least to reduce the fuel consume.
Apart from this we could think in the benefit about the environment , for instance the problem with the eart-warning , so if we reduce the using of fossil fuel , this problem could be less worriying . Moreover , there are problems that can affect directly in our health , like asthma , respiratory infections , even cancer.
On the other hand , the biodiesel comes from the agriculture , for example , corn , soya, sunflower, sugar cain , are usually planting for this porpuse. However , if the car industry bets for this option , we need to find a balance between production for the biodiesel and the production for human consume ( food ).
In conclusion , I completly agree with to force the car industry to use biodiesel because if we do not force this option , the car Industry is going to keep the fossil fuel engines , and is the time for the change.

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Edited by lucile83 on 05-08-2012 22:02

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Re: Essay/Correction from notrepere, posted on 05-08-2012 at 22:56:52 (D | E)
Hello

You add articles when you shouldn't add them.


Is there a true alternative to use fossil fuel ? . The answer is yes, there is an alternative and this is the biodiesel and nowadays , the cars industry has to be focus in this new fuel.
In the first place there are differents(adjectives always singular) reason[ ] to force to the car industry to use biodiesel , firstly the fossil fuel is every day(two words, but misplaced) much more expensive , secondly we know that this resource is not endless, therefore , the fuel industry has to prospect for new olfields and usually this new oilfilds are in places like the Antartic or places with a special protection. So we have to stop or at least to reduce the fuel consume(form of the word).

Apart from this we could think in(wrong preposition) the benefit about to the environment , for instance the problem with the eart-warning(global warming) , so if we reduce the using(use) of fossil fuel , this problem could be less worriying(spelling; worrisome is better) . Moreover , there are problems that can affect directly(misplaced) in our health , like asthma , respiratory infections , even cancer.
On the other hand , the biodiesel comes from the agriculture , for example , corn , soya, sunflower, sugar cain(spelling) , are usually planting for this porpuse. However , if the car industry bets(un autre verbe) for this option , we need to find a balance between production for the biodiesel and the production for human consume(form of the word) ( food ).
In conclusion , I completly(spelling) agree with to force(form -ing) the car industry to use biodiesel because if we do not force this option , the car Industry is going to keep the fossil fuel engines , and it is the time for the change.


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Edited by notrepere on 06-08-2012 17:23

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Re: Essay/Correction from dlsur, posted on 06-08-2012 at 13:10:39 (D | E)
Hi notrepere.

I made the correction , really if I have to be honest I made some of the mistakes like , for instance, porpuse, completly,sugar cain , when I did the copy from my notebook.However I have a question , when you say that I use articles when they are not required, but they are mistakes, or just that I do not need to use them.
Thank you very much for the correction

Should the car industry be forced to use biodiesel ?

Is there a true alternative to use fossil fuel ? . The answer is yes, there is an alternative and this is biodiesel and nowadays , the car industry has to focus in this new fuel.
In the first place there are different reasons to force to the car industry to use biodiesel , firstly fossil fuel is every day much more expensive , secondly we know that this resource is not endless, therefore , the fuel industry has to prospect for new olfields and usually these new oilfields are in places like the Antarctic or places with a special protection. So we have to stop or at least to reduce the fuel consumption.
Apart from this we could think in the benefit to the environment , for instance the problem with the global warming , so if we reduce the using of fossil fuel , this problem could be less worrisome . Moreover , there are problems that directly can affect our health , like asthma , respiratory infections , even cancer.
On the other hand , biodiesel comes from agriculture , for example , corn , soya, sunflower, sugar cane , are usually planting for this purpose. However , if the car industry T takes a chance for this option , we need to find a balance between production for the biodiesel and the production for human consumption ( food ).
In conclusion , I completely agree with forcing the car industry to use biodiesel because if we do not force this option , the car Industry is going to keep the fossil fuel engines and It is time for change.

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Edited by dlsur on 06-08-2012 13:10

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Edited by lucile83 on 06-08-2012 13:17

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Re: Essay/Correction from notrepere, posted on 06-08-2012 at 17:35:40 (D | E)
Hello

The "extra" articles that I marked would be considered mistakes. There are still some that need to be removed (marked in red). The other problem is punctuation. You need to end a complete sentence with a period. You cannot use a comma (,) to separate discreet sentences. I've marked some of them in red. You need to add commas where the pauses are in the text. There should be no space before the punctuation mark in English.

Is there a true alternative to use(form ing) fossil fuel ? . The answer is yes, there is an alternative and this is biodiesel and nowadays , the car industry has to focus in(wrong preposition) this new fuel.
In the first place there are different reasons to force to the car industry to use biodiesel , firstly, fossil fuel is every day much more expensive(more and more expensive every day) , secondly, we know that this resource is not endless, therefore , the fuel industry has to prospect for new olfields and usually these new oilfields are in places like the Antarctic or places with a special protection. So we have to stop or at least to reduce the fuel consumption.
Apart from this we could think in(wrong preposition) the benefit to the environment , for instance the problem with the global warming , so if we reduce the use of fossil fuel , this problem could be less worrisome . Moreover , there are problems that can directly affect our health , like asthma , respiratory infections , even cancer.
On the other hand , biodiesel comes from agriculture , for example , corn , soya, sunflower, sugar cane , are usually planting(past participle) for this purpose. However , if the car industry T takes a chance for(this doesn't work) this option , we need to find a balance between production for the biodiesel and the production for human consumption ( food ).
In conclusion , I completely agree with the idea of forcing the car industry to use biodiesel because if we do not force this option , the car Industry is going to keep the fossil fuel engines and It is time for a change.

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Re: Essay/Correction from dlsur, posted on 07-08-2012 at 18:10:05 (D | E)
Hi

I am here again I have corrected the mistakes, but I understand that I need more practice with the writing


Thanks for your time and corrections.


Should the car industry be forced to use biodiesel ?

Is there a true alternative to using fossil fuel?. The answer is yes, there is an alternative and this is biodiesel and nowadays, the car industry has to focus on this new fuel.
In the first place there are different reasons to force to the car industry to use biodiesel. Firstly, fossil fuel is more and more expensive every day secondly, we know that this resource is not endless. Therefore, the fuel industry has to prospect for new oilfields and usually these new oilfields are in places like the Antarctic or places with a special protection. So we have to stop or at least to reduce fuel consumption.
Apart from this we could think on the benefit to the environment for instance the problem with the global warming. If we reduce the use of fossil fuel, this problem could be less worrisome. Moreover, there are problems that can directly affect our health, like asthma, respiratory infections, even cancer.
On the other hand, biodiesel comes from agriculture for example, corn, soya, sunflower, sugar cane, are usually planted for this purpose. However, if the car industry decides to invest in this option we need to find a balance between production for biodiesel and production for human consumption ( food ).
In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea of forcing the car industry to use biodiesel because if we do not force this option the car Industry is going to keep the fossil fuel engines and It is time for a change.

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Re: Essay/Correction from notrepere, posted on 07-08-2012 at 18:34:02 (D | E)
Hello

It's much better now.

Is there a true alternative to using fossil fuel?. The answer is yes, there is an alternative and this is biodiesel and nowadays, the car industry has to focus on this new fuel.
In the first place there are different reasons to force to the car industry to use biodiesel. Firstly, fossil fuel is more and more expensive every day. Secondly, we know that this resource is not endless. Therefore, the fuel industry has to prospect for new oilfields and usually these new oilfields are in places like the Antarctic or places with a special protection. So we have to stop or at least to reduce fuel consumption.

Apart from this we could think of the benefit to the environment. For instance, the problem with the global warming. If we reduce the use of fossil fuel, this problem could be less worrisome. Moreover, there are problems that can directly affect our health, like asthma, respiratory infections, or even cancer.
On the other hand, biodiesel comes from agriculture. For example, corn, soya, sunflower, sugar cane, are usually planted for this purpose. However, if the car industry decides to invest in this option we need to find a balance between production for biodiesel and production for human consumption ( food ).
In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea of forcing the car industry to use biodiesel because if we do not force this option the car Industry is going to keep the fossil fuel engines and it is time for a change.

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