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Essay/Correction
Message from landy posted on 10-04-2012 at 10:45:02 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Please help me to correct this esaay.
Thank you very much!!!
In a peaceful townlet there lives a little boy named Tommo, who has a bright life with his gentle mother, eldest brother Big Joe, second brother Charlie and a lovely girl called Molly. However, there is also pain and distress. Father's accidental death and coming poverty cast a shadow over their life. Tough as life is, the whole family always care for each other and sing a song called "oranges and lemons", pulling through difficulties one after another. Delicate Tommo gradually grows up with that encouraging song. Then the first world war comes. Tommo lies about his age and join the army with Charlie to escape himself from the shame of being thought timid and the frustration of love that his favourite girl Molly has married Charlie. In warring yeas, Tommo finds a new perspective of himself and world. Finally, Charlie's innocent death puts him to be a strong man. What Tommo realizes is that he should be brave to face everything because it's time that he guarded his loved ones.
There are always various experiences in life, one of which is suffering. We do not welcome that, but have to admit its existence. What we can get from it is that we will eventually understand the relationship between difficulties and hope, fear and courage, hardship and matureness. They always interweave together, making up our life. Anyhow let's sing a happy song like "oranges and lemons" when we are confronted with difficulties and then be brave.
The moment I think of "oranges and lemons", I seem to see Thommo with his family is singing loudly in the clear blue sky.
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Edited by lucile83 on 10-04-2012 12:48
Message from landy posted on 10-04-2012 at 10:45:02 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Please help me to correct this esaay.
Thank you very much!!!
In a peaceful townlet there lives a little boy named Tommo, who has a bright life with his gentle mother, eldest brother Big Joe, second brother Charlie and a lovely girl called Molly. However, there is also pain and distress. Father's accidental death and coming poverty cast a shadow over their life. Tough as life is, the whole family always care for each other and sing a song called "oranges and lemons", pulling through difficulties one after another. Delicate Tommo gradually grows up with that encouraging song. Then the first world war comes. Tommo lies about his age and join the army with Charlie to escape himself from the shame of being thought timid and the frustration of love that his favourite girl Molly has married Charlie. In warring yeas, Tommo finds a new perspective of himself and world. Finally, Charlie's innocent death puts him to be a strong man. What Tommo realizes is that he should be brave to face everything because it's time that he guarded his loved ones.
There are always various experiences in life, one of which is suffering. We do not welcome that, but have to admit its existence. What we can get from it is that we will eventually understand the relationship between difficulties and hope, fear and courage, hardship and matureness. They always interweave together, making up our life. Anyhow let's sing a happy song like "oranges and lemons" when we are confronted with difficulties and then be brave.
The moment I think of "oranges and lemons", I seem to see Thommo with his family is singing loudly in the clear blue sky.
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Edited by lucile83 on 10-04-2012 12:48
Re: Essay/Correction from sherry48, posted on 17-04-2012 at 02:02:45 (D | E)
Hello landy.
Here are a few things to start with, mostly incorrect verbs.
In a peaceful townlet there lives a little boy named Tommo, who has a bright life with his gentle mother, eldest brother Big Joe, second brother Charlie and a lovely girl called Molly. However, there is also pain and distress. Father's accidental death and coming poverty cast a shadow over their life. Tough as life is, the whole family always care for each other and sing a song called "oranges and lemons", pulling through difficulties one after another. Delicate Tommo gradually grows up with that encouraging song. Then the first world war comes. Tommo lies about his age and join the army with Charlie to escape
There are always various experiences in life, one of which is suffering. We do not welcome that, but have to admit its existence. What we can get from it is that we will eventually understand the relationship between difficulties and hope, fear and courage, hardship and matureness. They always interweave together, making up our life. Anyhow let's sing a happy song like "oranges and lemons" when we are confronted with difficulties and then be brave.
The moment I think of "oranges and lemons", I seem to see Thommo with his family is singing loudly in the clear blue sky.
Have a nice day. Sherry
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