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    Correction/TV

    Cours gratuits > Forum > English only || Bottom

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    Correction/TV
    Message from wangboniu posted on 21-05-2011 at 09:15:56 (D | E | F)
    Hello!

    I need your help again. Any suggestion is welcome!
    Thank you.

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.


    The invention of television has influenced our lives in every aspect. As we know, one person has only 24 hours a day. I mean if he/she spends more time on watching TV, less time is left for communication among friends and family. However, I do not think TV can destroy the relationship but affect it. In fact, in some conditions, TV can help people to communicate.

    When I was a child, TV had a magical power to me. After school, once I got home, to turn on the TV was the first thing I did. It was especially true when the programs were interesting such as cartoon stories. In that time, even though my best friends called me to play outside, I did not go until the end of the program which I wanted to see. In this point, it did hurt communication between me and my friends.

    Whereas, sometimes my friends and I could talk about a cartoon story which we watched for a long time and we would try to play different roles which exist in that story. And I know some people have a similar experience of making new friends through talking about TV series which they both loved, or at least it is a good way to close the distance between strangers. In these situations, television did promote our communication.

    In conclusion, I have to say TV affects our communication positively and negatively and it depends on specific circumstances. As a wise man, the things we should do is to get rid of the bad parts and improve the good parts. Therefore, spending appropriate amount of time on watching TV could be the best way to address this problem.

    -------------------
    Edited by wangboniu on 21-05-2011 09:39

    -------------------
    Edited by lucile83 on 21-05-2011 10:08


    Re: Correction/TV from notrepere, posted on 21-05-2011 at 17:03:28 (D | E)
    Hello Very good. Not very many errors.

    The invention of television has influenced our lives in every aspect.* As we know, one person has only 24 hours in a day. I mean if he/she spends more time (on) watching TV, less time is left for communication among friends and family. However, I do not think TV can destroy (the) relationships (but) only affect it. In fact, in some conditions, TV can help people to communicate.

    When I was a child, TV had a magical power to me. After school, once I got home, to turn [gerund] on the TV was the first thing I did. It was especially true when the programs were interesting such as cartoon stories. In that time, even though my best friends called me to play outside, I did not go until the end of the program which I wanted to see. (In) On this point, it did hurt communication between me and my friends.

    Whereas, On the other hand, sometimes my friends and I could talk about a cartoon story which we watched for a long time and we would try to play different roles which exist in that story. And I know some people have a similar experience of making new friends through talking about TV series which they both loved, or at least it is a good way to close the distance between strangers. In these situations, television did promote our communication.

    In conclusion, I have to say TV affects our communication positively and negatively (and) but it depends on the specific circumstances. As a wise man, the things we should do is to get rid of the bad parts and improve the good parts. Therefore, spending an appropriate amount of time (on) watching TV could be the best way to address this problem.

    The invention of television has influenced our lives in every respect.

    OR

    The invention of television has influenced every aspect of our lives.



    Re: Correction/TV from may, posted on 22-05-2011 at 03:23:04 (D | E)
    Hello,

    I would like to add a few suggestions:

    less time is left for communication among/another preposition friends and family.

    ....I did not go until the end of (the program which I wanted to see.) my favourite program.

    On this point/On one hand since what you have next is On the other hand, it did hurt/another verb communication/relationship? between me and my friends.

    ...a good way to close/narrow? the distance between strangers.

    As a wise man, we should ....

    Best wishes,




    Re: Correction/TV from wangboniu, posted on 22-05-2011 at 05:01:20 (D | E)
    Hello, notrepere
    I really appreciate your help. This is a big favor.
    To improve my English, I keep writing and your responses promote me to insist on doing it. This positive feedback loop helps me a lot. Thank you for everything you have done.

    -------------------
    Edited by wangboniu on 22-05-2011 05:04
    -------------------
    Edited by wangboniu on 22-05-2011 05:20




    Re: Correction/TV from wangboniu, posted on 22-05-2011 at 05:25:18 (D | E)
    Hello, may
    I‘m glad to see you again.
    Good suggestions!I will take these.
    less time is left for communication with friends and family.
    On one hand, it did impede communication between me and my friends.
    ...a good way to narrow the distance between strangers.
    As wise men, we should ....
    Am I right?
    Best wish.



    Re: Correction/TV from aneth-estragon, posted on 22-05-2011 at 07:40:10 (D | E)
    Hello, Wangboniu, NP, May !
    I really think "among" was better than "with"
    Lien Internet


    and thank you, reading this process of correcting is enlightening, instructive, and uplifting !



    Re: Correction/TV from lucile83, posted on 22-05-2011 at 07:50:21 (D | E)
    Hello,

    less time is left for communication with friends and family.
    'with' is the right choice.
    We can have a discussion among ourselves, not communication.





    Re: Correction/TV from aneth-estragon, posted on 22-05-2011 at 08:08:21 (D | E)
    Hello Lucile !

    I quote the United States Government Accountability Office :
    GAO
    OLDER WORKERS
    Enhanced Communication among Federal Agencies Could Improve Strategies for Hiring and Retaining Experienced Workers


    and the University Health Services (Berkeley) :
    How to Have Supportive and Respectful Communication Among Friends, Classmates and Co-Workers

    Best regards



    Re: Correction/TV from lucile83, posted on 22-05-2011 at 08:18:48 (D | E)
    Yes of course, communication is enhanced among different groups; but your communication with your friends has to be improved.



    Re: Correction/TV from aneth-estragon, posted on 22-05-2011 at 08:39:03 (D | E)
    Lucile

    OK now that I see what you mean I think I agree ! All depends on how general vs. specific the statement is, right ?

    Do you agree with these, then ? :

    General case : As we know, there are only 24 hours in a day. I mean if more time is spent watching TV, less time is left for communication among friends and family.

    or :

    Specific case : As we know, one person has only 24 hours in a day. I mean if he/she spends more time watching TV, less time is left for communication with his/her friends and family.

    Am I right to assume that our misunderstanding came from the fact that the original sentence was not clearly general nor specific ?



    Re: Correction/TV from lucile83, posted on 22-05-2011 at 08:52:35 (D | E)
    Yes aneth, you are right.

    I mean if he/she spends more time on watching TV, less time is left for communication among friends and family.
    that sentence is not really clear and may be misunderstood.
    I just guessed it was not a philosophical essay, as may did.




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