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    Correction /lettre motivation

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

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    Correction /lettre motivation
    Message de lo88 posté le 27-03-2011 à 20:14:46 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    je dois écrire une lettre de motivation pour partir à l'étranger apprendre l'anglais l'année prochaine. Et justement si je désire partir c'est pour améliorer mes capacités qui sont relativement médiocres.
    Je rame un peu, j'aurais voulu savoir si quelqu'un pouvait jeter un coup d'oeil sur ce que j'ai écrit. Je me sens un peu perdu entre mon dictionnaire, les sites de traduction et mes quelques connaissances...

    Voilà mon texte:

    Dear Misses X and Y,

    I’m Loïc R. and I’m in 2e Marketing. I’m sociable, enthusiastic and really motivated to go in Erasmus for several reasons. First of all, I think that it’s important to speak several languages to find a job, especially in the marketing and communication fields. I think that the best way to learn a foreign language is to go by immersing oneself totally in the language.

    Then, I would like to discover a new culture, new people, landscapes and live an enriching experience. During my first studies (I’m already graduated in Public Relations), I had hesitated to go and finally, when I was decided, it was too late. After my studies, I would also like to travel before finding a job and a good English knowledge could help me to travel.

    I like Marketing and Public Relations. Later, I would like to find a job in these two fields. For my Erasmus, I would like to go in the North of Europe (Finland, Sweden or Denmark). The programs of the universities are rather different and not always very clear. I’m attracted to the Communication and Marketing but less by the international business in the Baltic Sea. Is it possible to speak with you to have a little more information on the different destinations?
    Thank you very much.

    Best regards

    Loïc R.

    Un tout grand MERCI!

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 27-03-2011 20:43
    + forum



    Réponse: Correction /lettre motivation de may, postée le 29-03-2011 à 02:08:14 (S | E)
    Bonsoir,
    :
    Dear Misses X and Y,

    I’m Loïc R. and I’m in 2e Marketing. I’m sociable, enthusiastic and really motivated to go in Erasmus for several reasons. First of all, I think (that) it’s important to speak several languages to find a job, especially in (the) marketing and communication fields. I think (that) the best way to learn a foreign language is to (go by) immersing/infinitive oneself (totally) in the language.

    Then/Moreover?, I would like to discover a new culture, new people, besoin an adjective landscapes (and live)in order to gain an enriching experience. During my first studies (I’m already graduated/present perfect in Public Relations), I had hesitated to go..where? and finally, when I was decided/voix active, it was too late exclamation point After..finir my studies, I would (also) like to travel/mettre cette phrase après "a job" before finding/autre verb+préposition a job and a good English knowledge (could help me to travel) would be a great help.

    I like Marketing and Public Relations. Later..., I would like to find a job in these two fields. For my Erasmus, I would like/préferer to go in/autre prép.the North of Europe (Finland, Sweden or Denmark). The programs of the universities are rather/choisir autre adverbe different and not always very clear. I’m attracted/present perfect to (the) Communication and Marketing (but less)/rephrase, put "more" avant "attracted"...than (by the) international business in the Baltic Sea. Is it possible to speak with you to have a little more information on the different destinations?/ une phrase affirmative est mieux
    Thank you very much.

    Best regards

    Loïc R.

    (....)not necessary/ to be omitted

    -------------------
    Modifié par may le 29-03-2011 02:08






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    Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons