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    Why - topic - Correction

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    Why - topic - Correction
    Message from steve_vai0 posted on 27-12-2010 at 23:10:17 (D | E | F)
    Hello ...

    first of all , Thank you very much for your previous correction ,
    that is another one , could you please correct it .
    Thank you for your help

    Why do you think people attend college or university ??

    Personally I think people choose to attend college or university for many reasons it depend on personality of persons.

    I believe that the most common reason is to make and prepare for career . Almost all young people nowadays dream to have different opportunities for better jobs to allow them take more responsibilities , because they know that the job market is competitive. Besides they want to gain a lot of money to change their style and way of living.

    Also they attend college for new experiences because the college give them more confrontation and challenge with the real world .
    In addition they want to acquire new experiences to help them find out how to act and coexist with people around them .


    Besides looking for self-knowledge , sure that after every challenge they take in the college and solving problems they acquire more
    knowledge help them in their life

    At last I guess that the reason change from one person to other , but the most important is that they attend the college or university

    -------------------
    Edited by lucile83 on 28-12-2010 07:43



    Re: Why - topic - Correction from may, posted on 28-12-2010 at 02:39:16 (D | E)
    Hello,

    Personally I think people choose to attend college or university for many reasons punctuation it (capitalize) depend (singular) on personality of persons (use possessive adjective).

    I believe (that) the most common reason is to make...(what/a plan...?) and to prepare for career . (Almost all)use another word young people nowadays dream (to have)preposition different opportunities for better jobs to allow them take gerund more responsibilities ,this sentence is too long, it's better to break it here because they know that the job market is competitive. Besides/ also they want to gain a lot of money to change their (style and) way of living.

    Also/Furthermore they attend college for new experiences because the college (I think what are you trying to say is Education and Knowledge) give them more confrontation and challenge with prep. the real world (why real .
    In addition they want to acquire obtain? new experiences to help them find out how to act and coexist with people around them .


    Besides...lack of word looking for self-knowledge , (sure that after) every challenge they take in the college and solving problems they acquire more
    knowledge help them in their life (try to revise this phrase)

    At last I guess that the reason change from one person to other (not the same...), but the most important...lack of word is that they attend the college or university (pursue education???)

    Good night!



    Re: Why - topic - Correction from steve_vai0, posted on 28-12-2010 at 03:19:53 (D | E)
    Thank you so much




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