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    Lettre de motivation (correction) (1)

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    Lettre de motivation (correction)
    Message de deusius posté le 10-08-2008 à 21:10:21 (S | E | F)

    Who could correct this application letter for me, please? I must send it tomorrow morning.

    Dear Mr

    Application for the Liquidity Agent post

    I am very interested in your Liquidity Agent post, the details of which you placed on the xxx .be internet site. I believe my educational background in Management, my leadership skills, and my track record of effective management in financial affairs would enable me to make a strong contribution to your company.
    In addition to having taken subjects directly relevant to your company's operations, I can offer a variety of skills that can be used for your specific needs. In particular, my successful performance in coordination and management is proof of my big possibility of growth. My work as a trainee assistant for one year at the Casa Quente Aquecimentos Termicos Ltda demonstrates how quickly I can learn and my interpersonal skills. I think my knowledge at Countable operations, monthly payment of wages, negotiations with the suppliers and banking transactions can show you a little more about my qualifications. Also, my experience living abroad can shows you my facility to learn foreign languages.
    I am attracted to your xxx Agent post for the possibility of working in my branch. I would be delighted in being part of your employees group, because I like very much to work directly with customers and suppliers. I think it’s dynamic and it would make me feel useful in working in your strong and multinational company.
    I would greatly appreciate an interview to discuss at greater details the contributions I could make to your team. Please contact me at xxx after 5p.m. or send me a e-mail on xxx, during the day.
    Thank you for taking the time to review my application.
    Yours sincerely,
    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 10-08-2008 22:38
    Divers


    Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de intrepid34, postée le 10-08-2008 à 22:58:52 (S | E)
    Hi!
    Your letter is excellent - however - a couple of suggestions:

    Near the end: ........... I enjoy working directly with the public - or -
    I enjoy client contact - et non "I like very much" c'est très français...

    An Email et non "a E mail"

    Je vous recontacerai demain avec un meilleur effort - mon batterie est faible et je dois le recharger.




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