Let's Suggest/ 40

Let's Suggest/ 40
Message de here4u posté le 13-06-2023 à 10:07:44 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!

Another new topic for you to write about. I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever...

You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct!

Here is today's topic:"What would you do if you saw somebody shoplifting?" 140 to 160 words".

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Le plus tôt possible, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)

IMPORTANT ! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrai(en)t être modifié(s), s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail... et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide !
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet

( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez : ou ou **
Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le mardi 27 juin 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 15-06-2023 à 11:27:51 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Here is our first answer... full of questions and reflexions...

EXPRESSION N°1: please, indicate the possible mistakes and underline what is clumsy.

What should I do if I see someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do
1) I call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
2) I tell the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, it's already too late, they're so quick; The theft happens in such a short time: the time it takes to realise, you don't see the thief any more.
3) I once saw a woman to steal a dress, I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back, and well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her, and of course she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.
The stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open
Tell me what to do? 165 mots

for your help!

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 18-06-2023 à 19:55:31 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Nobody to give indications?

Suggestions in green allowed tomorrow morning, together with indications in blue. for your help!

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 21-06-2023 à 23:03:56 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Voici mes indications...

EXPRESSION N°1:

What should I do if I see someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do
1) I call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
2) I tell the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, it's already too late, they're so quick; The theft happens in such a short time: the time it takes to realise, you don't see the thief any more.
3) I once saw a woman to steal a dress, I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back, and well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her, and of course she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.
The stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open
Tell me what to do? 165 mots

Je posterai l'EXPRESSION N°2 demain dans la journée...

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de magie8, postée le 22-06-2023 à 08:41:37 (S | E)
EXPRESSION N°1:

What ( (WOULD I do if I ( saw someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do
1) I call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
2) I tell the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, it's already too late, they're so quick; The theft happens in such a short time: the time it takes to realise, ( the thief has already disappeared.
3) I once saw a woman (who was stealing a dress, I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back, and well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her, and of course she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.
The stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open
Tell me what to do? 165 mots

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 22-06-2023 à 12:16:29 (S | E)
Hello dears!

a lot, Magie. You have become a master at correcting mistakes! Very well done! What you haven't changed, and might be a little clumsy, will be given in the correction!

EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate the possible mistakes and underline what is clumsy.

If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important to not want to play the cops, because it should be dangerous. I will tell in the very loud voice : « You think that anybody hasn 't seen you ? You take the people for an idiot ! I have seen you and you have stole a blue Tshirt and I have seen you put it in your bag. » ! Of course, the seller will just wave to the security guard which is always to the door and he will stop the woman which was running to the door. He has right to do it. I don’t.
One of my friend tells me that his girl (8 years old) has stole a big beautiful taw at a bag in a shop. He was furious, lessoned her and obliged her to go with him to the shop to give the taw to the seller. The girl was petrified… but the woman seller laughed and want to give her the taw. My friend was more furious, he refuse and explain her girl that if you steal a pin, you will steal an ox… Good lesson.

for your help: (blue till the 24th and then, green allowed!)

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 25-06-2023 à 10:11:17 (S | E)
Hello!

Are you crushed by the heat or drowned by thunder storms? I hope not!

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de magie8, postée le 26-06-2023 à 13:22:43 (S | E)
hello dears

EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate the possible mistakes and underline what is clumsy.

If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important ((to not want to play the cops, because it ( (should be dangerous. I ( will tell in the very loud voice : « You think that (anybody hasn 't seen you ?You take the people for idiot ! I ( have seen you and you have stole a blue Tshirt and I have seen ( you put it in your bag. » ! Of course, the ( ( seller will( just wave to the security guard( which is always to (the door and he will stop the woman which was running to the door. He
(has right to do it. I don’t.
One of my friend ( tells me that his girl (8 years old) ( has stole a big beautiful taw at a bag (in a shop. He was furious, lessoned her and obliged her to go with him to the shop to give the taw to the ( seller. The girl was petrified… but the woman (seller laughed and (want (to give her the taw. My friend was more furious, he ( refuse and explain her girl that if you steal a pin, you will steal an ox… Good lesson.

En ce qui concerne le texte no 1 Je ne vois qu' une phrase soulignée et 7 mots en bleu ; je croyais avoir tout rectifié mais je regarderai mieux à la lumière du jour car le soir je vois mal avec les lampes qui brillent

------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 29-06-2023 08:49
Bug police réparé

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 26-06-2023 à 23:07:20 (S | E)
Hello dear Magie and All!

Thanks a lot for your effort!

Green allowed... I will give you all one more day (till Wednesday, 28th!) as times are hard here too and I can see many people vacationing...🙃 ☀️ ☀️ ☀️

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de magie8, postée le 27-06-2023 à 11:17:15 (S | E)
Hello mes suggestions de correction

EXPRESSION N°2: please, indicate the possible mistakes and underline what is clumsy.

If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important ( not to try and play cop , because (that could be dangerous. I ( would shout ( « did you think that nobody had seen you? You ( are taking () people for () idiots ! I (saw you stealing a blue Tshirt and I (saw you put it in your bag. » ! Of course, the ( salesperson would have just waved to the security guard (who always ( stands by the door and he ( would have stopped the woman ( who was running to the door. He (is allowed to do. I am not .
One of my friend (told me that his girl (8 -year -old ( (stole a big beautiful taw (from a bag in a shop. He was furious, ( he reprimanded her and ( obliged her to go with him to the shop to give the taw (back to the ( salesgirl. The child was petrified… but the( saleswoman laughed and( wanted to give her the taw. My friend was more furious, he( refused and explained her girl the fable:
-He that will steal a pin, will steal an ox (or will steal a better thing) …- Good lesson

( j'ai trouvé une version de la leçon de morale:- Qui vole un oeuf vole un boeuf-
appropriée à ce texte: Little crimes breed big crimes. YOU SMILE AT LITTLE CRIMES, and then BIG CRIMES BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF (Terry Pratchett)

A seller : est un vendeur non professionnel on l' emploie plutot en parlant de quelqu' un qui vend sa voiture ou sa maison

C' est difficile de conjuguer les verbes dans ce texte

Je me suis encore bien remué les méninges pendant des heures et bien embrouillée avec la concordance des temps
je suis revenue plusieurs fois sur la correction, aussi c est possible que ayez reçu plusieurs versions Celle-ci est la dernière

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 28-06-2023 à 23:10:17 (S | E)
Hello

Voici les suggestions portant sur les EXPRESSIONS reçues !

EXPRESSION N°1: texte original

What should I do if I see someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do
1) I call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
2) I tell the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, it's already too late, they're so quick; The theft happens in such a short time: the time it takes to realise, you don't see the thief any more.
3) I once saw a woman to steal a dress, I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back, and well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her, and of course she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.
The stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open
Tell me what to do? 165 mots

EXPRESSION N°1: Voici mes indications...

What should (a) I do if I see someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do
1) I call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
2) I tell the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, it's already too late, (they: le sujet devait être explicité sous forme de nom !) 're so quick; The theft happens (temps?)in such a short time: the time it takes to realise, you don't see the thief any more.
3) I once saw a woman to steal a dress(b), I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back, (and well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her, (and of course she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.(phrase trop longue... Trop de coordinations (emplois de "and") qui rendent le texte maladroit.)
The stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.[You're not allowed to touch anybody! ]
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open, Tell me what to do? 165 mots


(a)« Should » est un modal qui signifie : devrais/ devrait. Il appartient au registre de la suggestion, du conseil… et s’emploie donc plus souvent avec un prétérite (modal) qui indique l’irréel.
(b) I once saw a woman to steal a dress : après le verbe "to see someone", pas d’infinitif complet. Les deux formes possibles sont la forme en –ing : "I saw a woman stealing": je la surprends en pleine action, au milieu de celle-ci. OU «I saw a woman steal», j’ai vu l’action dans tout son déroulement, du début à la fin.

EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions

What WOULD I do if I saw someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do. On n'énumère pas ainsi dans une EXPRESSION !
1) I call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
2) I tell the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, it's already too late, they're so quick; the theft happens in such a short time: the time it takes to realise, the thief has already disappeared.
3) (Let me give you an example...)I once saw a woman who was stealing a dress B , I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back(, and STOP !) well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her(, and) of course she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.
(Un peu abrupt : en faire une généralité : Let’s sum up saying that the… )The stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open, (Tell me what to do(? 165 mots

Une bonne expression, avec quelques maladresses [par exemple, l’énumération sous forme de liste n’est pas très habile. Il valait mieux introduire les idées par quelques mots.] De bonnes corrections.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°2 : my immediate indications…
If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important (to not want to play (the cops, because it (should be dangerous. I (will tell in (the very loud voice: « You think that (anybody hasn ‘t seen you ? You (take(aspect) the people for (an idiot ! I have seen you and you have (stole a blue Tshirt and I have seen you put it in your bag» ! Of course, the (seller (will just wave (to the security guard (which is always (to the door and he (will arrest the woman (which was running to the door. He (has right to do it. I (don’t.
One of my (friend (tells me that his (girl (8 years old) has (stole a (big beautiful taw(ordre des adjectifs !)(at a bag in a shop. He was furious, (lessoned her and obliged her to go with him to the shop to give the taw XXXX to the seller. The girl was petrified… but the (woman seller laughed and (want to give her the taw. My friend was xxxx more furious, he (refuse(temps) and (explain(temps + construction) (her (girl that if you steal a pin, you will steal an ox… Good lesson.
Attention aux temps et aux pronoms relatifs !

EXPRESSION N°2: indications :

If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important (to not want to play the cops, because it (should be dangerous. I (will tell in (the very loud voice : «You think that (anybody hasn 't seen you ?You take the people for idiot ! I (have seen you and you have stole a blue Tshirt and I have seen (you put it in your bag. » ! Of course, the (seller will( just wave (to the security guard( which is always to (the door and he will stop the woman which was running to the door. He(has right to do it. I don’t.
One of my (friend ( tells me that his (girl (8 years old) (has stole a big beautiful taw at a bag (in a shop. He was furious, (lessoned her and obliged her to go with him to the shop to (give the taw xxxx to the (seller. The girl was petrified… but the woman (seller laughed and (want (to give her the taw. My friend was more furious, he (refuse and (explainxx her girl that if you steal a pin, you will steal an ox… Good lesson.


EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions:

If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important (not to try and play copS , because (that could be dangerous. I (would (shouted ( « Do you think no one has seen you? You ( are taking () people for () idiots ! I (saw you stealing a blue Tshirt I (saw you put it in your bag. » ! Of course, the ( salesperson would have just waved (to the security guard (who always ( stands by the door and he ( would have stopped the woman ( who was running to the door. He (is allowed to do XX. I am not .
One of my (friend (told me that his (girl (8 -year –old) (stole a big beautiful taw (from a bag in a shop. He was furious, ( he reprimanded/ scolded her and (obliged her to go with him to the shop to give the taw (back to the ( salesgirl. The child was petrified… but the( saleswoman laughed and (wanted to give her the taw. My friend was xxxx more furious, he( refused and explained xx ( her (girl the fable:
-He that will steal a pin, will steal an ox (or will steal a better thing) …- Good lesson
( j'ai trouvé une version de la leçon de morale:- Qui vole un oeuf vole un boeuf-
appropriée à ce texte: Little crimes breed big crimes. YOU SMILE AT LITTLE CRIMES, and then BIG CRIMES BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF (Terry Pratchett) merci Magie pour ces recherches et tout ce travail... Ne te " triture pas trop les méninges " quand même !


- il est important de ne pas jouer : It’s important not to play
- L'expression "One of my friends/ parents/ neighbours..." toujours suivie d'un pluriel!
- jouer aux gendarmes (et aux voleurs) : to play cops (and robbers)
- WOULD SHOUTED est une horreur. Would est suivi de l’infinitif sans to.
- to explain something to somebody
- Attention aux confusions : une fille : girl (par opposition à «boy») mais «daughter» par opposition à «son».
- Revoir l’ordre des adjectifs. Lien internet

De belles suggestions. Il reste quelques fautes et plusieurs maladresses qui seront peut-être améliorées dans un Follow up Work éventuel ? Vous savez que vous êtes toujours bienvenus pour vous efforcer d'améliorer les textes !
(Encore et magie pour tout ce travail ! )

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de magie8, postée le 29-06-2023 à 08:17:34 (S | E)
Follow up no 1

What WOULD I do if I saw someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do. !
I( could call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
( If I told to the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, ( it would be already too late. The( thief acted so swiftly. The theft ( happenned in such a short time: The time it takes to realise, the thief has already disappeared.
3) (Let me give you an example...)I once saw a woman who was stealing a dress B , I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back. Well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her. ( Of course, she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.
( Let’s sum up saying that the stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open, (Tell me what to do(? 165 mots

J' ai fait les rectifications en tenant compte de tes conseils J ai bien dû encore faire quelques maladresses de style ou des fautes d'inattention. mais je commence à fatiguer...

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de magie8, postée le 29-06-2023 à 08:50:16 (S | E)
Follow up texte 2


If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important (not to play cops and robbers, because (that could be dangerous. I (would (shout ( « Do you think no one has seen you? You ((are thinking that () people are () idiots ! I (saw you stealing a blue Tshirt I (saw you put it in your bag. » ! Of course, the ( salesperson would have just waved (to the security guard (who always ( stands by the door and he ( would have stopped the woman ( who was running to the door. He (is allowed to do (it. I am not .
One of my (friends (told me that his (daughter (8 -year –old) (stole a beautiful big taw (from a bag in a shop. He was furious, ( he scolded her and (obliged her to go with him to the shop to give the taw (back to the ( salesgirl. The child was petrified… but the( saleswoman laughed and (wanted to give her the taw. My friend was( still more furious, he( refused and explained( to ( her (daughter the fable:
-He that will steal a pin, will steal an ox (or will steal a better thing) …- Good lesson

J'ai fait ce que j'ai pu à bientôt j'espère que c'est satisfaisant

Thursday 11:50 je viens de reprendre le texte j' avais oublié de corriger l' ordre des adjectifs , que je connais depuis des années et revise régulierement comme tout le reste

---

Réponse : Let's Suggest/ 40 de here4u, postée le 30-06-2023 à 23:19:03 (S | E)
Hello dears and more particularly dear Magie!

Follow up works

What WOULD I do if I saw someone shoplifting? There's not much I can do. !
I could call the police: by the time they arrive, the thief will already be long gone.
If I told to[to tell somebody] the shop assistant that an item has just been stolen, it would be already too late. The thief acted so swiftly. The theft happenned (un seul N) in such a short time: the time it takes to realise, the thief has already disappeared.
3) Let me give you an example...I once saw a woman who was stealing a dress, I ran very quickly and snatched her bag to get the stolen dress back. Well, I was wrong because she accused me of assaulting her. Of course, she had witnesses who had seen me empty her bag.
Let’s sum up saying that the stolen goods must be recovered inside the shop and you are not allowed to touch the person who has stolen.
When the goods are displayed outside or inside near the exit with the door wide open, tell me what to do... 165 mots

de ta persévérance, Magie!

If I saw someone stealing, I know it is important not to play cops and robbers, because that could be dangerous. I would shout « Do you think no one has seen you? You think that () people are () idiots! I saw you stealing a blue Tshirt, I saw you put it in your bag.»! Of course, the salesperson would have just waved to/ at the security guard who always stands by the door and he would have stopped the woman who was running to the door. He is allowed to do it. I am not.
One of my friends told me that his daughter (8-years–old) had stolen a beautiful big taw from a bag in a shop. He was furious, he scolded her and obliged her to go with him to the shop to give the taw back to the salesgirl. The child was petrified… but the saleswoman laughed and wanted to give her the taw. My friend was still very furious, he refused and explained to his daughter the fable: "He that will steal a pin, will steal an ox (or will steal a better thing)" …- Good lesson

Un grand et Magie, pour ce très bon travail !

---

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]

Cours gratuits > Forum > Exercices du forum