Correction/New World
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Message de etoilecristal posté le 11-10-2020 à 13:30:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger ce texte, s'il vous plait?
Je sais qu'il y a beaucoup de fautes!
Merci d'avance!
Since the discovery of the New World by Christopher Columbus, North America has attracted the attention of the French, Dutch, English, and Spaniards.
Thanks to the so-called Columbus exchange, the New World gives pears, tomatoes, pumpkins, corn, potatoes and Europeans brought cattle, horses, onions, grapes, bananas and diseases. Last, the English settled and built their city of Jamestown, after the English region of James. Gradually, thirteen colonies appeared on the east coast, which was divided into three parts – the North, the Middle and the Southern. In the Southern (Virginia, North and South Carolina, Georgia) tobacco, rice, cotton are sold, and the hard work is done by slaves brought from Africa. The Northern colonies, called New England, were dominated by free farmers. Intellectuals like Benjamin Franklin spoke of interest in all Americans, who are all more dissatisfied with government taxes in London.
But after 1767, new taxes were introduced, including the "stamp duty" on all printed works, books and newspapers. There are a lot of protests in the colonies with the slogan "No taxes without a government", and the gouvernement in London could't unterstand that the colonists want to participate in the government on which they pay taxes.
The Boston tea party happened when Britain wants to establish a monopoly on the East Indian tea trade, then outraged Boston residents, disguised as Indians, attacked British merchants and throw bales of tea into the sea.
The war for independence
It started a war between the colonies and the metropolis. Commander-in-Chief of the colonists is George Washington. On July 4, 1776, the declaration of independence, written by Thomas Jefferson, is adopted. The Americans secure support from the French, the British armies capitulated. In 1781, the Treaty of Paris between Britain and the United States recognized the creation of a new state, the United States of America.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-10-2020
Message de etoilecristal posté le 11-10-2020 à 13:30:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger ce texte, s'il vous plait?
Je sais qu'il y a beaucoup de fautes!
Merci d'avance!
Since the discovery of the New World by Christopher Columbus, North America has attracted the attention of the French, Dutch, English, and Spaniards.
Thanks to the so-called Columbus exchange, the New World gives pears, tomatoes, pumpkins, corn, potatoes and Europeans brought cattle, horses, onions, grapes, bananas and diseases. Last, the English settled and built their city of Jamestown, after the English region of James. Gradually, thirteen colonies appeared on the east coast, which was divided into three parts – the North, the Middle and the Southern. In the Southern (Virginia, North and South Carolina, Georgia) tobacco, rice, cotton are sold, and the hard work is done by slaves brought from Africa. The Northern colonies, called New England, were dominated by free farmers. Intellectuals like Benjamin Franklin spoke of interest in all Americans, who are all more dissatisfied with government taxes in London.
But after 1767, new taxes were introduced, including the "stamp duty" on all printed works, books and newspapers. There are a lot of protests in the colonies with the slogan "No taxes without a government", and the gouvernement in London could't unterstand that the colonists want to participate in the government on which they pay taxes.
The Boston tea party happened when Britain wants to establish a monopoly on the East Indian tea trade, then outraged Boston residents, disguised as Indians, attacked British merchants and throw bales of tea into the sea.
The war for independence
It started a war between the colonies and the metropolis. Commander-in-Chief of the colonists is George Washington. On July 4, 1776, the declaration of independence, written by Thomas Jefferson, is adopted. The Americans secure support from the French, the British armies capitulated. In 1781, the Treaty of Paris between Britain and the United States recognized the creation of a new state, the United States of America.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-10-2020
Réponse : Correction/New World de sneaky13, postée le 12-10-2020 à 19:50:37 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Le problème principal de votre texte c'est que vous parlez tantôt au présent, tantôt au passé et souvent dans la même phrase. Ce serait bien que dans un premier temps vous corrigiez cela
Réponse : Correction/New World de sneaky13, postée le 14-10-2020 à 14:56:49 (S | E)
Rebonjour
Since the discovery of the New World by Christopher Columbus, North America has attracted the attention of the French, Dutch, English, and Spaniards.
Thanks to the so-called Columbus exchange, the New World gives pears, tomatoes, pumpkins, corn, potatoes and Europeans brought cattle, horses, onions, grapes, bananas and diseases. Last,(where is the "first ?) the English settled and built their city of Jamestown, after the English region of James. Gradually, thirteen colonies appeared on the east coast, which was divided into three parts – the North(il vaut mieux mettre un adjectif), the Middle and the Southern. In the Southern (Virginia, North and South Carolina, Georgia) tobacco, rice, cotton are sold, and the hard work is done by slaves brought from Africa. The Northern colonies, called New England, were dominated by free farmers. Intellectuals like Benjamin Franklin spoke of interest in all Americans (pas compréhensible), who are (concordance des temps) all more dissatisfied with government taxes in London.
But after 1767, new taxes were introduced, including the "stamp duty" on all printed works, books and newspapers. There are(pourquoi changer de temps ,) a lot of protests in the colonies with the slogan "No taxes without a government", and the gouvernement in London could't unterstand (erreur de frappe) that the colonists want(concordance des temps) (to participate in the government on (autre proposition) which they pay taxes.
The Boston tea party happened when Britain wants (concordance des temps) to establish a monopoly on the East Indian tea trade, then outraged Boston residents, disguised as Indians, attacked British merchants and throw (concordance des temps) bales of tea into the sea.
The war for (autre préposition) independence
It started a war (mal dit) between the colonies and the metropolis. Commander-in-Chief of the colonists is (pourquoi passer au présent pour cette phrase) ?) George Washington. On July 4, 1776, the declaration of independence, written by Thomas Jefferson, is adopted. The Americans secure (pourquoi ce présent ? ) support from the French, (remplacer la virgule par un mot) the British armies capitulated. In 1781, the Treaty of Paris between Britain and the United States recognized the creation of a new state, the United States of America.
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Modifié par sneaky13 le 14-10-2020 15:17
Réponse : Correction/New World de gerondif, postée le 14-10-2020 à 15:27:24 (S | E)
Bonjour
Le présent de narration historique (utilisé pour rendre le texte plus vivant) qu'on trouve dans les articles de type wikipédia ou autres dont vous vous êtes inspirés n'existe pas en anglais. Il faudrait donc que le prétérit soit utilisé tout au long du texte, après tout Jamestown date de 1607 et la Boston Tea Party du 16 décembre 1773...
erreurs en bleu
Since the discovery of the New World by Christopher Columbus, North America has attracted the attention of the French, the Dutch, the English, and the Spaniards.(gardez the pour qu'on comprenne que l'adjectif est substantivé)
Thanks to the so-called Columbus exchange, the New World gives(prétérit) pears, tomatoes, pumpkins, corn, potatoes to Europe and Europeans brought to the New world cattle, horses, onions, grapes, bananas and diseases. Last(à la fin au sens de enfin, en fin de compte, pourrait se dire in the end), the English settled and built their city of Jamestown, after the English region of James. Gradually, thirteen colonies appeared on the east coast, which was divided into three parts – the Northern, the Middle and the Southern parts (il faut bien accrocher ces adjectifs à un nom). In the South (Virginia, North and South Carolina, Georgia) tobacco, rice, cotton are(prétérit) sold, and the hard work is(idem) done by slaves brought from Africa. The Northern colonies, called New England, were dominated by free farmers. Intellectuals like Benjamin Franklin spoke of interest in(dans l'intérêt de tous les américains ? Le dire autrement) all Americans, who are all the more dissatisfied with government taxes in London.
But after 1767, new taxes were introduced, including the "stamp duty" on all printed works, books and newspapers. There are'prétérit) a lot of protests in the colonies with the slogan "No taxes without a government", and the gouvernement in London could't unterstand that the colonists want(prétérit) to participate in the government on (pourquoi on ?) which they pay(prétérit) taxes.
The Boston tea party happened (took place) when Britain wants(prétérit decide irait mieux) to establish a monopoly on the East Indian tea trade, then outraged Boston residents, disguised as Indians, attacked British merchants and throw'prétérit) bales of tea into the sea.
The war for independence
It started(ne se dit pas, utilisez le verbe break out au prétérit derrière a war) a war between the colonies and the metropolis. The Commander-in-Chief of the colonists is(prétérit) George Washington. On July 4, 1776, the declaration of independence, written by Thomas Jefferson, is(prétérit) adopted. The Americans secure(prétérit.Choix de verbe "s'assurer" discutable) support from the French, the British armies capitulated. In 1781, the Treaty of Paris between Britain and the United States recognized the creation of a new state, the United States of America.
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